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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28884762">The best heart to carry is yours.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticma/pseuds/enigmaticma'>enigmaticma</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Another version of Tharntype the series, Attempted Sexual Assault, Clearer triggers in the Top notes, Healing, Healthy Relationships, Homophobia, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Attraction, Past Sexual Abuse, The description of the triggering scenes has little description to none, Warning :, but better be warned, fluff with smut, self discovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:21:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,529</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28884762</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticma/pseuds/enigmaticma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark had suffered a major event in his life as a kid so after a while he decided to live in Korea. After 3 years of military service, he decided to enrol for the international university of Seoul, rooming with a nice guy called Lucas. He didn't expect that the man would change his heart, especially not when he found out Lucas was gay. (please read notes)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>In Another Life</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>List of triggering themes:<br/>The story is based on Tharntype The series so it is including<br/>- Past sexual assault.<br/>- Obsessive behaviour.<br/>- Provoked and unprovoked assault<br/>- Post assault trauma.<br/>- Homophobia<br/>- Bullying / Public shaming.</p><p>None of the characters would be the "doer" but some would be the victim of the following triggers.</p><p> </p><p>The main focus is the healing after trauma, not the trauma itself, so please forgive me for tackling such traumatic subjects. </p><p>I couldn't find a beta for the fic so I am sorry for the mistakes. Grammarly also add its own set of mistakes and typos in the middle so ;~; I am sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lucas didn’t plan on crushing on his roommate. Mark Lee was so nice, cute, and adorable, he just couldn’t help it. They met at the beginning of the year, things were fine, and they even got so close that he considered coming out to the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just didn’t expect it to happen the way it did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark was done practising for a gig with his friends when someone whom Lucas rejected approached him and said: “So, you’re that fag’s side bitch, huh?” Mark glared at the man, ready to fight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t associate me with your likes, freak,” Mark hissed angrily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man scoffed, amused and intoxicated. “Is that so?” he said, “Your roommate is gay though. I would love to pound into him if he wasn’t so much of a dickhead.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark stepped away from the man, his stance stiffening as his expression morphed into shock then rage before he dashed out of the place. His friends fumbled to stop him, but they couldn’t do much, as they were as shocked as he was. They ran after him only to find him gone. He made it to the dorm about an hour later, breathless. Lucas, who was working on his assignment, stumbled off his chair when Mark yanked his shirt up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gay?” The man asked him with fury in his eyes and Lucas felt his world shatter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew what that look meant. “Yes, I am.” He admitted. He had nothing to hide. It was who he was and he wasn’t ashamed of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark let go of him, dismay returning to his face with a clear expression of terror added to it. “Did you tell people I slept with you? Because one of your… </span>
  <em>
    <span>kind</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Mark hissed the word like it was bile on his tongue, “called me your side bitch,” Mark growled at him. “Is this what it’s worth to be your friend?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I…” Lucas wanted to defend himself, but Mark just punched him in the face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to see you anymore, so pack your things and leave!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark left, the door shaking after he slammed it, and didn’t return while Lucas sat there, unable to process what happened. His crush just punched him in the face and rejected him blatantly. He didn’t plan to leave. He had no issue with Mark, nor with himself being gay, so why would he be the one leaving? Mark could leave if he had a problem with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark indeed tried to leave the dorm. “You can’t leave the dorm, your father paid for the entire year,” Jaehyun, one of his bandmates and his friend for two years, said as Mark returned to the bar where they had their gig. “Complaining and assaulting your roommate over the fact that he’s gay isn’t going to make your life easier, Mark.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care,” Mark hissed with ice wrapped in his fist. “The mere thought that he was gay the entire time and I had no idea pisses me off! Who knows what he planned to do to me! Who knows what kind of dirty stuff he did behind my back…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mark,” Johnny, another friend, spoke calmingly, “you’re shocked, we get it, but don’t overthink it. You lived together for almost three months and he didn’t hurt you, not even once.”  Mark sighed. Was he talking to a wall? “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> are the one who has an issue with Lucas, not the other way around. I doubt he would leave the room just because you wanted him out, and you can’t leave just like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what should I do? I can’t live with him,” Mark whined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun hummed. “Look for someone who would switch rooms with you, maybe? I’m sure someone would be willing.” The suggestion made Mark look up before he frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who would room with a gay man?” Mark sneered distastefully. Mark asked for a room saw the exact morning. He even skipped his practice with the band so he could find someone to room swap with, only to be rejected because everyone had gotten used to their roommates already. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t I just live with you?” He asked Jaehyun, who lived nearby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your father’s money will go to waste if you do,” Jaehyun pointed out. “Why don’t you try to reason with Lucas, I’m sure he’ll be willing to talk.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The idea of talking to Lucas again made Mark feel nauseated and he sighed, frowning. “I’ll try to see what I can do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark went to his dorm room that night, finding Lucas focused on his laptop. The man barely looked at him, and, somehow, it pissed Mark off. “Aren’t you packing to leave?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not the one who has an issue with my being here,” Lucas said simply as he continued to type, not sparing the other a glance. “If you have an issue with me being gay, you can leave the room or find someone to swap with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark sat on his bed and scoffed. “It’s not like I wasn’t trying,” he mumbled to himself. “Why am I always surrounded by monsters like you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas heard him and stood at that. “I am a monster? For being who I am?” he asked Mark, who didn’t expect the man to hear him, angrily. “Do you even realize the word you’re spitting out?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I do! Who knows what you’ve done to me behind my back!” Mark said defensively, only for Lucas to shove him and grip his wrists, pinning him down to his bed. “Lucas!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did nothing behind your back! Do you hear me? I never hurt you! I never touched your things without your permission and you think</span>
  <em>
    <span> I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>the monster?” Lucas was understandably furious.“From the second you knew I was gay, you didn’t stop hurting me, Mark. I’ve done nothing to you, but if you keep this shit up, I just fucking might.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me go,” Mark hissed, resisting weakly as tears welled in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let you go when I am done punishing you,” Lucas leaned down and whispered into his ear, teasingly, only for Mark to hyperventilate in terror. Lucas quickly released him and leaned back, surprised by the reaction. Mark remained frozen, silent aside from quick, shaking breaths. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas pushed himself off the bed and grabbed his wallet and keys. “I’ll stay with my friend tonight. Don’t worry. I’ll see you tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Lucas left, Mark could no longer withhold the sobs from leaving his lips as he curled in his bed. He hadn’t been that scared since he was eleven, and Lucas’s expression both terrified and pained him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t scared of Lucas, he knew he wasn’t, but he couldn’t face the trauma yet. It had been nearly ten years and yet was still so vivid in his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a long time for Mark to fall asleep that night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He woke to hungry pangs reminding him of that previous night’s skipped dinner and found food on the table and snacks packed at Lucas’s desk. It was seven in the morning, but it seemed that Lucas had already come, changed his clothes, and left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He freshened up and changed his clothes before checking the breakfast box sold in the cafeteria. He noticed a note that said: “I went overboard, I’m sorry. Take the snacks if you like, I won’t mind. - L.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark reluctantly grabbed the breakfast, mostly because he was hungry and his brain was about to explode. He ate and left the dorm room, heading to class when he noticed Jaehyun approach him with a cup of cold brew. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want some?” Jaehyun asked him worriedly. “How was your night?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fucked,” Mark mumbled, “we argued and he left to sleep with a friend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun frowned. “Lucas’ friends were looking for him this morning, though,” he stated and Mark looked at him with a barely concealed worry, so he changed the subject. “You at least took your breakfast, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He left me breakfast this morning,” Mark admitted, sipping his coffee before sighing. “I can’t deal with this, hyung. Living with a gay man in the same room for the entire year, I’ll turn insane.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? What’s the big deal?” Jaehyun asked him, “you would have been fine if you didn’t know, right? So why does knowing his sexuality make it different?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark couldn’t answer that. He had no reason to hate Lucas or hurt him and somehow Jaehyun’s words made sense, he would be fine if he didn’t know since Lucas was a great guy. “I don’t know,” he said simply. “I just can’t live with him anymore. The thought of sharing such a small space with a gay man is… I don’t know, I don’t feel safe anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun frowned but said nothing, nodding. “We’ll figure it out, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded. The rest of his day was, for the most part, normal. He even managed to return to the dorm by ten, which meant Lucas was very likely asleep. He didn’t expect the room trashed, smelling like someone peed and mixed perfumes and bleach with it, while Lucas sat under the window, his face buried in his knees. Mark hissed a colourful set of curses as he picked up his laptop and torn papers. He noticed Lucas’ laptop on the floor, also broken, with the man’s papers and things scattered around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck happened?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came home to this,” Lucas murmured, not even looking at Mark. “They left a message.” He pointed at the wall, with scrawled words where posters once were, and read aloud: “get the fuck out of here, Fag.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark paused picking his papers and looked at Lucas’ lifeless expression. “Does anyone else know you’re gay?” Mark asked, and Lucas only shuddered in response. “We need to report this to the police. This is a break-in and vandalism. Shit, did they steal anything?” Lucas didn’t react. Mark fished his phone out of his pocket and left the room, dialling 119 and explaining the situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My roommate is in a state of shock,” he informed the police when they showed up ten minutes later. “I don’t think he can answer you, but you can still ask him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was worried that if the police knew Lucas was gay, they wouldn’t help them. It was a silly fear, but a fear nonetheless. They found Lucas where Mark left him and he answered their questions with an empty expression that terrified Mark a little. The police collected evidence of the break-in and asked a few more questions before leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark knelt by Lucas’ damaged laptop.“It can be fixed. Your data is in the hard drive, you can place it in a new computer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you helping me now? Everything happened because of you,” Lucas growled, still curled on the floor. “I lost two weeks worth of assignments, my courses, my family photos, my clothes, my belongings. They even took my </span>
  <em>
    <span>money</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I lost everything… just because you didn’t want to accept me for who I am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas glared. “Check the Faculty of Art Facebook page. I’m sure you’ll love it,” he snarled, anger withholding the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. “I’ll sleep somewhere else until we get this fixed,” he growled, standing to his full height and locking eyes with Mark. “I don’t feel safe around </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> anymore, either.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas may as well have slapped him in the face. Mark had no idea what the man meant, but it certainly hurt that Lucas put the blame entirely on him. He logged onto Facebook and quickly noticed that some classmates had tagged him on a post. “What the fuck?” He mumbled as he clicked on the video in the post. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His own voice resonated loud in the room: “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I just can’t live with him anymore. The thought of going to a tiny space I share with a gay man is … I don’t know, I don’t feel safe anymore</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His stomach twisted with the morbid realization that Lucas must have felt the same pain of hearing those last few words, if not more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the next day’s plan, Mark called Jaehyun and Johnny to sort out the issue with the video, the room’s state and the hate crime. He wasn’t going to sit there and watch people use </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> to bully Lucas. Once he set up everything with his friends, he lied in bed, staring at Lucas’ empty sheets and wondering if he could ever be forgiven.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but admit that Jaehyun was right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas's sexuality was never an issue. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mark </span>
  </em>
  <span>was the issue, and the proof laid in front of his eyes the entire night. He barely closed his eyes for a moment before the sun rose. He leaned back over to look at the other side of the room, hoping Lucas had shown up, but the room was quiet. Mark swallowed the bitter taste of regret as he picked off the floor what remained intact of his clothes, showered and dressed quickly, and marched to the dean’s office to report the hate crime, Jaehyun hot on his heels. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun helped him the best he could, even if he couldn’t do much more than patting Mark’s back whenever he sighed heavily. The administration opened a case on the crime, ignoring the reason behind it. Meanwhile, Johnny promised to get his and Lucas’ laptops fixed, if possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll pay for a new laptop,” Mark told him, “just make sure the hard drive data can be recovered.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll buy Lucas a new laptop?” Jaehyun asked, disbelief lacing his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded, “I may be uncomfortable with his sexuality, but I won’t back down from my responsibilities. I caused all this, I should pay for the damage.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you don’t have money for your laptop, don’t you?” Johnny asked him worriedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell Dad my laptop broke and he can lend me money until I pay him back somehow,” Mark began, “plus, our gigs pay well, I’ll manage until then.” He didn’t want to say he planned to repay Lucas for his clothes and damaged bed as well. He wasn’t rich, but he knew he would manage somehow. He just needed to find time for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny and Jaehyun could do little to help. They had their expenses and didn’t know the extent of what Mark planned to pay for. Buying a laptop with all his savings meant he couldn’t buy more than one dish per day for the following three months, but he was fine with it. As long as Lucas could have his assignments and family photos back, Mark was okay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny had a friend who was skilled enough to recover the data, transferring it to the new laptop, Mark was as satisfied as he could be in the situation. Later that day, he entered the dorm, followed by Johnny and Jaehyun, who‘d bought him a new lock--as well as a few extra locks for safety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude!” Jaehyun yelped as he observed the mess, “this is so bad.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Mark replied as he began cleaning loose papers. “I’ve gotta sort this out.” Johnny stopped him, pulling out his phone and taking pictures. “What are you doing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taking pictures of evidence,” Johnny explained, “if that Facebook page helped them find you and Lucas, it can help us find them.” Jaehyun nodded and Mark let the matter go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hours later, the door clicked open and Lucas entered, followed by two guys who must’ve been his friends. He looked pale and tired when he noticed them. Mark was fast to react. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I got you a new laptop. Your data is all on it. It took me a while to get it done, but I got you everything,” he spoke quickly, pointing at the new laptop. Lucas looked at his friends, who nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas will stay with us for a while,” one of them said, “I don’t think he is safe. We live in an external dorm.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He would be fine,” Johnny assured. “We alerted the university and even bought extra locks for the dorm. The police are on it too. I doubt those assholes would attack Lucas again now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas’s friends scoffed before one of them pointed at Mark. “That doesn’t change the fact that there’s still a homophobic prick standing there,” he spat like venom, and Mark felt his insides twist in shame. “Who would assure us </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> won’t hurt Lucas again?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny and Jaehyun looked at Mark, who seemed to take a sudden interest in his shoes. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen…  I-I’ll take full responsibility for it,” he mumbled, not daring to look at Lucas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yangyang, Kunhuang,” Lucas said tiredly, “it’s okay. You can leave me here, I’ll be fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Lucas, you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>attacked</span>
  </em>
  <span>; your bruises aren’t even healed yet,” Yangyang argued while Mark and his friends approached Lucas in shock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were attacked, too? Why didn’t you tell the police?” Mark asked Lucas, who stepped away from him. He noticed, but he didn’t back down from doing what his mind screamed was the right thing to do. “We need to go to the police and show them your bruises, now.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Now</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Lucas.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to,” Lucas shook his head, “what good would it even do? I’ll still be the fag nobody wants around.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun placed his hand on Mark’s shoulder. “If Mark truly saw you as a ‘fag he didn’t want around’, he wouldn’t’ve spent so much money to buy you the best laptop in the market, Lucas. Just give my friend time, he’s stupid and stubborn. And give yourself the respect and kindness you deserve, you were attacked, they deserve punishment.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s right, Lucas,” Kunhuang said, “We tried the entire day to convince you to show the evidence of abuse, but you refused. They attacked you, Lucas. That’s illegal.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Being gay isn’t illegal,” Mark said, firmly as he stared at Lucas’s uncertain expression., “They shouldn’t use it against you while investigating the hate crime. We go </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Lucas. End of the discussion.” Mark turned to Jaehyun. “Can you drive us? He doesn’t look good.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun nodded and led them out of the room, where Johnny promised he would place the extra locks. Kunhuang stayed behind to tidy Lucas’ things while Yangyang refused to let go of Lucas as they climbed in the car. Jaehyun was driving fine until the police station, when he looked at Yangyang and firmly said, “let Mark deal with this, he’s the one who pressed charges.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yangyang opened his mouth, about to argue, but Lucas nodded and left the car with Mark. They entered the station together, keeping a safe distance between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My friend was there when they got in and he has bruises,” Mark reported to the officer who opened the case for Mark before looking at Lucas, who kept his eyes down. “He feared they would come back and attack him again if he spoke, but I convinced him to come over and let you know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was physically assaulted?” The officer asked as he eyed Lucas. “His face looks fine.” Mark gestured to Lucas, who unbuttoned his shirt. The bruise on his collarbone screamed at them, dark and angry purple. His stomach and back were littered with violent blacks and blues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I managed to cover my face with my hands,” Lucas admitted, holding up his bandaged wrists, which Mark only noticed right then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The officer scoffed. “How many assailants were involved?” He asked. Lucas described how five boys and four girls had broken in, beat him, and trashed the place. Some he would be able to recognize, others, he would not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Mark was imagining the terror Lucas must have experienced, being attacked so suddenly in what was supposed to be a safe space for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt so sick that he couldn’t look at Lucas the entire time. Once Lucas’ statement was added to the case, they returned to the car and found Jaehyun and Yangyang waiting for them. Yangyang helped Lucas inside the car while Jaehyun just rubbed Mark’s back in worry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was clear that Mark was out of it. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lucas got attacked again and Mark started questionning himself.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They drove back to the dorm, finding that Kunhuang and Johnny managed to clean the room and tidy it up. Lucas lied in his bed, tiredly while Johnny told Mark how to use his new locks. “It wouldn’t stop people from getting in when you aren’t around but at least, nobody would come in and attack you or Lucas with four locks in the door,” Johnny said with a hopeful tone. “Let’s meet tomorrow for the practice. Our gig will be at eight so rest well.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, guys. I don’t think I would have done any of this without you,” Mark thanked his friends before bowing to Lucas’s friend. “Thank you for taking care of Lucas.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is our best friend,” Kunhuang said, “so don’t thank us. I think we should thank you for pressing charges and going against the bullies instead of approving their attack.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yangyang scoffed. “I doubt he would have cared if his things weren’t trashed too,” he said loud and clear, “let’s go, Hendery. I still have to wake up early.” Kunhuang simply shook his head at Yangyang’s mean comment and patted Mark's shoulder before walking after Yangyang. Jaehyun and Johnny excused themselves out after a moment and Mark locked the door properly after them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat in his bed, facing Lucas who seemed asleep. “I was molested when I was eleven, by a man in my neighbourhood.” He admitted. “This is why I am scared of gay people.” Lucas didn’t react so Mark added. “It has been ten years but It feels like it happened yesterday. This is why I didn’t feel safe around you when I knew, Lucas. It is not about you, but your sexuality is making me live my trauma daily. Now, after what happened, I think I’m no longer making you safe because I remind you of the abuse you lived today and I understand how it feels like. I just…” Mark didn’t realize he was crying until he felt salt on the tip of his tongue and he realized tears run down his cheeks. “I am sorry it happened because of me, I am sorry that I was the reason you got hurt. It’s a thing to say mean things and another to cause all this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sniffed and looked up as Lucas moved. The man simply sat by his side and pulled him to a hug. “I am not blaming you,” Lucas said simply, “I was mad at those boys who took advantage of my loneliness and hurt that you said what you said in the video, but honestly, I don’t blame it on you. They would have known eventually and I would be attacked either way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am still sorry,” Mark insisted, “I will try to repay you for everything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas chuckled. “You already got me what I needed the most. My data,” Lucas said as he let go of Mark. “I’ll pay for the Laptop, though. It’s a really expensive one, I know it.” Mark was about to argue. “Don’t. The data is what matters to me, I can replace everything but that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johnny’s friend swore that everything you had in your computer is recovered,” Mark said with a relieved sigh, “I hope it is truly okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Lucas assured him. “Can we put my sexuality aside now? I don’t want to hear you trash on it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded and zipped his mouth. Lucas smiled at that and left Mark’s bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get you a laptop too,” Lucas pointed out as he laid down. “I don’t think you recover your data.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I can manage to buy a new laptop,” Mark complained and Lucas chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He faced Mark as he said. “Consider it as a thank you for helping me out after my attack, I wouldn’t do half of what you did,” Lucas said as he looked away, “besides, my father won’t let it go if he knew you got your things damaged in the attack and I didn’t help, so let me avoid the nagging.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never told me about your family before,” Mark commented as he laid down. The room was freezing so he doubted he would manage to sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad owns a Law firm in Hongkong and mom is a designer,” Lucas simply said, “they aren’t the richest people out there but we are financially at ease. You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad is a butcher, mom is a middle school teacher,” Mark said with a smile, “they aren’t the richest people out there but we managed.” Lucas chuckled at that and Mark smiled, missing that sound. Lucas sighed happily as he closed his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed this,” Lucas said suddenly, “I missed when you spoke to me like I’m a normal person.” Mark looked at him in shock and Lucas added. “I like you, Mark, and I respect you enough to respect your boundaries, so please don’t stop being my friend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Mark said with a smile, offering his hand which Lucas easily reached and held. The following days were stressful at school. Everybody eyed Lucas and Mark weirdly and yet, Mark felt happy. Lucas got him a better laptop, got him clothes and even a new bed sheet. He didn’t have to starve himself and he didn’t have to fear Lucas even if he had nightmares of his trauma. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay with Lucas being gay?” Jaehyun asked him once as they ate lunch out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but the incident taught me that hating Lucas when it is my issue would hurt the man needlessly. He is a good friend and it stops at that.” Mark said defensive, as Jaehyun’s expression was urging him to ask. “What?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, I just didn’t realize how close you and Lucas were,” Jaehyun eyed Mark’s clothes, “I know he got you clothes and paid you back for the laptop </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> paid for your brand new laptop.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His father insisted that I get my damaged stuff replaced, they even replaced my books and my course’ sheets,” Mark commented. It was half true, as it was Lucas who insisted the most, not his father, but the old man managed to convince Mark that they didn’t mind the help. Lucas was so happy to shop for clothes for Mark that Mark had to pack some clothes under the bed so much he didn’t have space left in his closet. Jaehyun didn’t need to know that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he ignored the smirk on Jaehyun’s face, Mark noticed Lucas running. They were eating in a small restaurant just outside the campus so it wasn’t odd to notice Lucas outside. The odd was to see Lucas run away while being chased by a motorcycle only to be hit with a bat in the arm and he rolled on the floor. “Fuck! Call the police!” Mark said, not even fishing his stuff as he ran out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mark! What the fuck!” Jaehyun called behind Mark and he noticed indeed that Lucas was on the floor, in pain, while Mark knelt by his side. Jaehyun looked at the restaurant’s waiter and asked them to call the police as he got in to pay for their bill and pack their food for take-out. Lucas was in obvious pain while Mark tried to stop the panic from overwhelming him. “The police on the way, Mark. Mark! Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded and helped Lucas sit up. “Are you okay, Lucas? Do you want me to call your friends?” He asked the man who shook his head, red with pain as he held on his left arm. “We will go to the hospital when the police come, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get my car,” Jaehyun offered and left them there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark waited until his friend was far before asking, “for how long had they been hurting you?” Lucas looked at him in shock before looking away. “Please, Lucas,” Mark felt like hurting himself so much the guilt was overwhelming, “tell me the truth.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They didn’t hurt me before today,” Lucas said, “I was always with my friend before today. I left them to pick some lunch outside and they chased me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark sighed in relief. “I’ll let your friends know that you need to be surrounded,” he commented and Lucas glared at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a kid,” Lucas hissed angrily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a persecuted person,” Mark insisted, “until we stop those people, you need protection. Please, do it for me.” It was enough to make Lucas look away and Jaehyun showed up on time as the police parked by their side and Mark told them there was an ongoing case of persecution and break-in, to which their new statement was added. Jaehyun took them to the hospital in which Lucas had to do a scan and bandage his arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is a fracture,” the doctor told Mark who went pale instantly, “but it is not as dangerous as it seems. A month of rest would be enough to heal it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, doctor,” Lucas said as his arm was wrapped and sealed to his chest with plaster before he paid for his hospital bill and followed Mark and Jaehyun out. Jaehyun and Lucas spoke rather normally while Mark couldn’t hear a sound so much his ears were ringing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go to my dorm room and stay there until my friends pick me up for dinner,” Lucas said, “I won’t be able to focus on my lectures with the pain. See you at ten?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark realized he had a gig that night and nodded. “See you at ten,” he said as Jaehyun offered to drive Lucas to the dorm while Mark said he would take the bus back to the university. Jaehyun didn’t push, as he could see Mark needed a moment for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark was feeling guilty. It was his right to even if he didn’t plan for his words to be used against Lucas. He had never thought it would come to this. A part of his heart wanted to punish him so bad and the other part of his heart wanted to protect Lucas so bad.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had no idea how to deal with the situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to focus on his lecture and to give his all during the gig but even if his performances were perfect, everybody could see Mark wasn’t in the mood for anything. Jaehyun and Johnny made sure people didn’t bother Mark in the nightclub. Usually, they buy them drinks or ask for pictures but Mark packed and left the second his band was done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knocked three times before trying to open the door and noticed Lucas working on his laptop. “You didn’t sleep?” He asked as he locked the door properly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yangyang just got me notes from the missing lectures,” Lucas said, focused on his laptop, “I will just type them out in my note sheets and sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to help you with that? Doesn’t your arm hurt?” Mark offered and Lucas shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am almost done,” he said before looking at Mark, “are you okay? You look pale today.” Mark nodded and Lucas pointed at the table. “Yangyang got me tons of food, I left you some.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Mark simply said as he picked it to eat. He just needed to do something before his brain would explode. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence stretched before Lucas yelled he was done which made Mark jump out of his skin. “Oh, sorry. I am just happy I managed to recover all my assignments and sent them out,” Lucas explained as his ear turned red. “The professors were kind enough to give me an extension to get everything done and now, I can focus on my lectures and my arm.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it okay if I walk you to class tomorrow?” Mark asked. “I know our lecture halls are kind of far from each other but I would like to walk you to class tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas frowned. “Is it because of my arm?” He asked in wonder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I just… I need it for my sanity,” Mark admitted, tearing up. “I think I’ll go insane, Lucas.” Lucas walked toward him as he started sobbing. “I didn’t mean any of this to happen,” Mark admitted, sobbing, “I was just voicing myself to my best friend, I didn’t know I was recorded, I didn’t know it would be used to bully you, I didn’t… I didn’t plan this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas pulled Mark’s head closer to his chest and patted it, soothingly, before kissing Mark’s head. “It’s okay. I am okay, Mark. I don’t blame you, didn’t I say so?” Lucas said with a soothing tone, “Those bullies would have bullied me even if the video didn’t exist. Don’t take it too much in your heart, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am sorry,” Mark said looking up to meet Lucas’s eyes and Lucas kissed his forehead with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat facing Mark and held his hands. “I forgive you, all right?” he asked Mark who nodded before he pushed the food closer. “Now, eat or I won’t forgive you anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded, sniffing, and dug in. He hadn’t eaten well since the attack. Lucas stayed in front of Mark, observing him eat as his heart melted in front of Mark’s loving side. He couldn’t help but acknowledge the fact he was still madly swooned by Mark Lee and slept that night with a grin on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark woke up early on Lucas whimpering in pain. He sat up to find Lucas struggling to take his shirt off. “Do you need help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to shower but I can’t take my shirt off,” Lucas said with a pout. “Is it okay if you help me?” Mark nodded and sleepily rushed to Lucas’s side, helping him out of his shirt. He held Lucas until the showerhead and Lucas looked at him, shyly. “I am sorry, I forgot my towel and boxers out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get them for you and go pick some breakfast,” Mark offered, “just take your time changing.”  Mark picked what Lucas left in the bed before putting on a vest and walked all the way to pick food. He was sure he looked like a mess but he didn’t care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ey,” a voice behind him said and he looked at a man who chuckled at his sight, with his friends. “Were you so scared of your gay roommate that you left in a hurry or something?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you were tired of harassing my roommate so you thought I’m your second best punching bag,” Mark said, not even looking at the man as he rubbed his eyes. “Go ahead, I am not stopping you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The men snickered at him but Mark didn’t care. He looked at the menu and ordered two of the Chinese breakfast boxes. The entire time, he muted the bullies and didn’t react even when the bullies poked him. He got his bag and was about to walk away when he was pushed and tripped. Falling on the ground, his breakfast flew away and laughter filled the space. Mark picked the intact boxes and put them in his bag before looking at the man who pushed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure bully like a highschooler,” Mark commented before rolling his eyes. “Talk to me when you grow up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was about to turn when a punch was thrown his way and if it wasn’t for a familiar face, Mark would be cornered. Yangyang was by his side with two others and the bullies just backed away. “Are you okay?” Yangyang asked him as he observed the bruise that formed into Mark’s lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s nothing, just don’t tell Lucas about it. I should go back to Lucas before something happens,” Mark simply said, bowing his head to them and walking away. He made it on time to find Lucas struggling with his shirt. “I’ll help you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas looked at him in surprise before frowning. Just as Mark got closer, he held the man’s chin. “Your lip is bruised,” he said with a frown, “they attacked you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, I tripped and hit my chin. My teeth sank into my lip,” Mark lied as he helped Lucas slide his bandaged arm into the shirt without moving it. “The breakfast boxes are a mess too. I am sorry about that, Lucas. I’ll be careful.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas sighed and said nothing but his serious expression didn’t faze even when Mark left him to shower. Mark couldn’t help but find Lucas’s serious face hot and shook the thought away as he stood under the warm water. He dressed up before leaving the bathroom and found Lucas sitting by the breakfast table, speaking on the phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>From Lucas’s tone, Mark knew he was furious. He gave Lucas a kicked puppy look as he sat down and Lucas closed his eyes, sighing and ending the call. “Don’t lie to me next time,” Lucas simply said and Mark nodded, glad Lucas wasn’t upset. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s eat, I’ll walk you to your class before I go to mine,” Mark said and Lucas nodded, eating. The inside of the box was a mess but an edible mess nonetheless. Mark was glad Lucas wasn’t upset anymore as they walked together to the faculty hall. Lucas’s lecture hall was in the upper level and Mark’s right under it so Lucas’s friends were waiting by Mark’s level. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can go with my friends,” Lucas said with a smile, that stretched into a grin when he noticed Mark’s upset look. “See you at ten?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you at ten,” Mark said eventually, “but call me if something comes up, okay?” Lucas nodded and followed his friends while Mark was soon surrounded by an arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you homophobic?” Yangyang asked him suddenly and Mark just froze there uncertainly. “For a homophobic person, you sure know how to take care of a gay man.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am just taking responsibility for what happened,” Mark defensively said and Yangyang chuckled as he walked away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing, sweetheart,” He said eventually before eyeing Mark, “I won’t be surprised if you fell for my friend’s charms, however. He is every gay boy’s wildest dream so you should hurry before someone steals him away.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark stood there, shocked, as Yangyang disappeared before he rushed to his lecture hall. Yangyang’s words rang in his mind for the entire day and he tried to shake it off. “You are distracted,” Jaehyun commented in their practice, “is it because the bullies attacked you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really, I’m just overthinking things again,” Mark said before stretching, “let me try to focus again, okay?”  They didn’t push him to perform well since it was a practice and not a gig so he managed to return a tiny bit early. He found Lucas working on his notes again. “Hello. Did you eat?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Yangyang got me food again,” Lucas pointed at the full table, “I left you some.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark smiled and picked his clothes to change into them. He left the bathroom to find Lucas on the phone again, speaking firmly again. Mark said nothing as he picked the dinner and ate it silently as he observed Lucas speak. Once Lucas was done talking, Mark dared to ask, “is it serious? You looked like you would punch the person on the phone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a clingy date,” Lucas said with a sigh, “or more like someone I had the mistake to date once only for him to think he owes me or something.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark could feel his heart squeeze and he looked down to his food. “What are the kinds of boys you date usually?” he asked, “I like cute girls who smile bright, have soothing tendencies, and know how to take care of me. How about you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas sighed, looking lost. “Honestly, I like your kind of boys,” Lucas admitted and Mark nearly choked on food, “straightforward, positive, talented and hardworking.” Mark blushed madly as he observed Lucas daydream. Lucas eventually smiled. “I am a hyper person so I feel the best around people who are fun to be with. People like you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think of me like that? I didn’t know I was a person fun to be with,” Mark said as he avoided Lucas’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas sat properly, as spoke in an upset tone. “Mark, everybody in the university loves you,” Lucas said in a heated manner, “even my friends like you despite what happened. You are an amazing guy. How can’t you see that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark only got crimson before eyeing Lucas who observed him in confusion. “Well, do you know what Yangyang told me? He said you are any gay boy’s wildest dream,” Mark pointed out, “but I’m sure you don’t think the same as him or realize how awesome he is as a friend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is true,” Lucas admitted, “I may be confident in my look and body but I have insecurities about a lot of things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like?” Mark asked him in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas frowned. “My sexuality was my major source of insecurities. I lived with the fear of not being accepted as who I am and to this day, it hurts and breaks me to face judgment for it.” Mark’s expression fell and Lucas didn’t notice. “I also feel insecure about finding love. I don’t think I’ll find someone to love despite how many times my heart made me fall for people.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark and Lucas didn’t say much for a moment and Mark dared to ask. “Did you fall in love before?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love? No, but a crush, yeah,” Lucas admitted openly, “I have a fat crush on someone lately. Someone I am sure won’t accept me so…” Mark felt like he lost appetite but he forced himself to act normal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someday you will find the love you deserve, Lucas,” he said as he packed the food and smiled at Lucas. “You have to believe it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The subject wasn’t pushed further, mostly because Lucas and Mark felt so heartbroken to push it. Mark brushed his teeth when Lucas joined him to do the same and he realized that Lucas was a head taller than him, almost. Their height difference was making his heart race and he tried to not linger on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They went to bed at the same time yet sleep took the time to come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For days, Mark tried to be okay with the idea that Lucas had already someone in his heart but it made him want to bust his head open. “Are you okay?” Jaehyun said as he offered Mark a beer, “you were out of it for the entire week.” Mark just shook his head, absently and Jaehyun dared to ask. “Is it about Lucas?” it made Mark look at his friend who frowned, “so you have an issue with Lucas?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Mark assured before looking around. “I am just trying to figure out whether I hate him or not,” Mark admitted, “I don’t know what I’m feeling around him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think whatever issue you had with homosexuality just faded and you are now facing the confusion it follows,” Jaehyun commented, observing the people in the bar, “as long as you are not questioning your sexuality, it should be fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark’s heart quickened at the thought that maybe he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was questioning it, and was attracted to Lucas</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I guess I’m fine then,” Mark mumbled to himself. He returned to his dorm at ten, finding Lucas sleeping topless. Mark’s eyes lingered on Lucas’s toned body a little longer than usual before he picked Lucas’s cover and covered his body. “Sleep well, Lucas,” Mark said before kissing Lucas’s head. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mark and Lucas had mixed emotions to face but Lucas's stalker had his own plans for Mark.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I noticed that Grammarly put corrections in the wrong spots and I don't know how to fix the new wave of mistakes it causes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The following day was a weekend so Mark allowed himself to just spend the night up, observing Lucas sleep, before sleep overcame him. He woke up on the sound of Lucas crying in pain and sat up in shock. “I am sorry,” Lucas said as he held his arm. “I slipped and hit my arm with the door frame. I am sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark realized Lucas had only a towel around his waist and that the man was holding his boxers in his hands. “Do you need help?” was the first thing Mark could say after the drizzle of thoughts that assaulted his mind. He left the bed to Lucas before leading him to bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas was too in pain to notice anything off. “It hurts, can you get me my painkillers?” he said pointing to his office. Mark got him the painkillers before he got in the bathroom, holding into the sink. Mark allowed himself to panic only to realize he was hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark was turned on by the thought of Lucas walking around with a towel only and it terrified him. He showered only to realize he got in the shower without picking a towel or underwear. “Fuck me,” Mark hissed before he approached the door. He opened it only to peek out and noticed Lucas struggling. “Lucas, can you hand me a towel, I forgot mine isn’t inside.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas handed him the towel, not without lingering on whatever was behind Mark and said with a pout. “Can you help me with the shirt when you are done?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, just a second,” Mark said as he closed the door before looking at the mirror. It slapped him on the face that Lucas lingered his eyes on the mirror which showed his naked butt the entire time and looked rather… unfazed? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It pissed Mark a little but he swallowed it. “I can’t go into a full gay panic mode because of Lucas then get mad at him at the same time, my brain doesn’t need this,” he hissed to himself as he dried his body before wearing his shirt. He couldn’t wear his underwear back because it was wet so he kept the towel around his waist and walked out to help Lucas who was drying his hair. “Let me help you get dressed first and I’ll finish dressing up myself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Lucas said, handing the shirt. Mark tried to work fast but he felt the towel get undone and soon a hand held it. “It was slowly sliding off,” Lucas commented, “I didn’t want you to be awkward.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thanks,” Mark said before he fixed his towel. “One arm left, come on” Lucas looked quite happy to be dressed while Mark had to get back to the bathroom to finish dressing up. He had never felt so embarrassed of himself before today. “He would think that you are a lunatic now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard noises and looked to find Lucas surrounded by his friends. “Oh, they bought us breakfast,” Lucas said with a huge smile, “come join us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark joined them but his eyes kept on lingering toward Lucas’s hand. He looked away to notice Yangyang and Kunhuang smirking among themselves. It made him look down and focus on eating. “We will take Lucas out to change the air, do you want to join us?” another friend of Lucas said and Mark shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a gig so I need to go practice with my friends,” Mark said with a polite smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where do you perform? I’d love to see you perform,” Lucas said and Mark looked at him in surprise before his ears turned red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark blinked at the snickers from Yangyang and looked away. “We perform every weekend at a Jazz bar downtown at eight. It’s called the Hum Bar.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been there,” one of the friends said, “It’s a cool place.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas brightened up, “then Kun ge should take us there before the performance, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Kun said with a smile, “I can even pick Mark-ssi after the performance and drive you here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark wanted to object but Yangyang wrapped his shoulder and pulled him close. “See you later then, Mark.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s tone made Mark excuse himself. He didn’t have to go so early but he couldn’t handle more. He walked to Jaehyun’s place, letting his mind wander when he bumped into someone and he looked up to meet his eyes. Mark could recognize the man of the bar, who outed Lucas to him, anywhere. “You sure are persistent,” the man said with a smirk. “What should I do to make you leave my man?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark frowned. “Your man? I doubt Lucas would date a piece of shit like you.” Mark said only to receive a punch on the gut. He doubled down in pain before getting punched on the face. If it wasn’t for the men who showed up to stop the fight, Mark was sure the man would have killed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will meet again and we will settle it once for all,” the man said while Mark felt rage fill his lungs. If it wasn’t for the huge amount of people around, Mark would have given the man a colourful version of what he was thinking. Mark could only walk to the Jazz Bar’s practice room picking his bass and practising until his friend found him there. Johnny and Jaehyun frowned at his state.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you take lunch?” Jaehyun asked and Mark just nodded, ignoring him. “What is it this time, Mark?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at Jaehyun, who could see a bruise form in his cheek, and said firmly, “let’s practise before the gig.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny was the leader of the band and its pianist while Jaehyun was the vocalist. Mark was a bassist while the new members of the band Jeno and Jaemin handled respectively the drums and the guitar. They performed almost a new song every two weeks, depending on how hard the song was, which explained why they had to practice daily. Jeno and Jaemin were the fifth try-outs of members they hired because the previous ones couldn’t keep up with the trio’s pace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They performed much earlier than usual, mostly because the bar’s owner said he had nobody to fill the seven pm spot. They performed five songs before Lucas showed up with his friends. “The next song is our newest one,” Johnny announced, “It’s something our Bassist Minhyung wrote and composed a year ago and that we finally finished the touches upon. I hope you will like it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cheers filled the space and Lucas observed the band play. Mark was serious the entire time, playing with all his heart and didn’t look up from his instrument which made Lucas pout. “Isn’t that a bruise on your roommate’s face?” Hendery asked as the song ended and Lucas frowned, focusing on Mark’s face. He fast noticed the ugly colour on the man’s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did he get into a fight?” Kun asked, worried, and as the band took a break, Lucas waved to Mark who noticed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark smiled slightly before looking toward his band. He excused himself before joining Lucas on the table. “Sorry you came when we were about to finish our gig,” Mark said with an awkward smile. “The band before us didn’t show up so we filled in that’s why we started an hour early.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas nodded. “It’s okay. I loved the song I just heard,” he said before looking at his amused friends, “didn’t you like it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s an amazing song. I didn’t expect you to be so talented,” Kun commented teasingly and Mark chuckled shyly. “You sing self-composed songs a lot?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, on weekends, but we cover most of the time. It’s hard to make new songs that the audience won’t get bored of so we try to mix covers with originals,” Mark explained when a hand made him look at Johnny. “This is Johnny, the band’s leader. He, Jaehyun and I are best friends and we formed the band. Johnny, these are Lucas’s friends, Yangyang, Kunhuang and…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas finished, “Qian Kun and Ten Chittapon,” he introduced, “Kun is a senior in the modelling agency I used to work with, Ten is his fiancé.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten showed his ring proudly while Kun laughed, bowing and exchanging handshakes with the band which slowly joined them. “Jeno and Jaemin are our newest members,” Mark said which made Jeno pull Jaemin close with a huge smile. “Jeno is the drummer and Jaemin is our new guitarist.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a couple?” Ten asked the two who went red and awkwardly nodded. Johnny and Jaehyun looked at them in shock before looking at Mark who didn’t react. “Oh. That’s cute.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fairly new,” Jaemin admitted, “We met in the band and got closer here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny made a dramatic gasp. “Oh, can we say the beans got you together?” he asked only for the people on the table to laugh at that. They also got teased for the band name. In the middle of that chaos, Mark felt Lucas rest a cup of a cold drink on his bruised cheek, upset and worried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell you when we get home,” he promised to which Lucas nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The band’s break ended and they played a few songs before wrapping up. Kun offered to drive Jaemin and Jeno as well but the couple said they like to take the bus. Jaehyun took Johnny and Yangyang with them while everybody else squeezed in Kun’s car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you eat anything today?” Lucas asked Mark suddenly. “You look pale today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We played longer than usual,” Mark said, just to avoid admitting he didn’t eat a single thing since he left the dorm, “My shoulder and hands hurt from holding the bass so long.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery pipped in and said. “Lucas has a massage oil for after a workout, it works like magic,” he said and Lucas nodded at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll give it to you,” Lucas offered, “I won’t work out for the rest of the month,” Mark observed Lucas for a moment and nodded. They were dropped off first and Lucas made sure Mark would get his shower first. “Don’t wear a shirt, I’ll put the massage oil on your shoulder before you do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as Mark got his towel, his stomach growled loudly. It made Lucas look at him but Mark hurried into the bathroom to shower. Once done, he hesitantly walked out without a shirt, wrapping his chest with a towel to hide his skin, only to find snacks all over his bed. “What is this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you my snacks,” Lucas said from where he was crouching. “Oh, found it!” he stood with a tube as he closed his office drawers. He sat on his bed and patted for Mark to sit down. Mark hesitated but Lucas didn’t read much into it because a bruise on Mark’s rib was clear. “Hey, you got a bruise in your chest.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” Mark sat down, still hesitant, “someone who insists I’m dating you came and attacked me so I can break up with you.” Lucas tensed and Mark looked at him hesitantly before adding, “it is the same man who outed you to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Lucas simply said, darkly. “I think it is the same man I’m having an issue with. I am sorry he got physical.” Lucas sighed before picking the tube, squeezing some on Mark’s skin. Mark couldn’t help but yelp when Lucas’s hand touched his skin. “Sorry, did I hurt you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, just a little sore. The bass is kinda heavy,” Mark lied with an awkward chuckle. The tingles of Lucas’s hand on him got suddenly intense as the man kept massaging him, one shoulder at the time. He tried to hold his voice down but failed miserably. Once Lucas was done and stood to wipe his hands, Mark was about to melt in embarrassment. “I’m sorry for being loud, I didn’t expect myself to feel pain.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your muscles are knotted heavily,” Lucas pointed out with a smile, “You need to make sure that you stretch before bed, before practice and before your gigs. It would lessen the risk of knots.”  Mark nodded, smiling at Lucas as he was done wearing his shirt. Lucas observed him get into his bed and pick snacks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark was starving, he realized, and he finished most of the chips laying around. “How can you remain so fit with so many snacks?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I struggled to gain weight my entire life,” Lucas admitted, “Kun ge insists that I have a black hole instead of a stomach so much I eat.” It made Mark laugh, as picked a pack of salted chips to eat. “I’m sorry I don’t have real food to offer, though. The cafeteria is closed now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Mark dismissed it. “I’ll just eat well tomorrow morning.” Lucas didn’t seem happy about that and Mark smiled shortly, feeling happy Lucas cared before he averted his eyes and looked away. “What do you plan to do with that man?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already tried my best, I have a restriction order against him, I left my job as a model so I can avoid going where he goes,” Lucas listed and Mark couldn’t help but eye Lucas in pure interest. “I also left my gym for weekly training with Kun. I even left Hong Kong to study here in Seoul.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure tried but he is still following you,” Mark commented as he felt suddenly getting burning hot. He made his way to the bed, to hide his body from Lucas’s eyes. “But I think moving to Seoul cancelled the restriction order. Did you make one in Korea?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not yet,” Lucas said with a frown. “It was hard to adjust here. I’ll probably call my dad to settle things up for me since he may know how to deal with the Korean law more than me. Plus, he is my lawyer.” Lucas spoke proudly of his father which made Mark smile. “I wish I can find a way for him not to persecute everyone I speak to or I know. It would be hard to cover everything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark sighed. “Look, I’ll handle it if he attacks me again,” Mark assured, “I won’t blink before suing his ass so don’t worry about me. Just make sure that you are safe because the man sounds like a psycho.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas nodded but exams approached so they didn’t talk about the entire restriction order, neither did Lucas tell his father about it yet. They were so busy for an entire month that when Mark and Lucas met on the last day of the exam, their first reaction was to hug each other. “Freaking finally,” Mark said before he realized what he did and he let go of Lucas. “I want to get drunk tonight!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a gig tonight, right? Let’s get drunk after it and Kun will drive us home,” Lucas offered, “I’m sure the man is done with his exams too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, sure!” Mark shook hands on that and they went to eat, talking about their break schedule. Mark couldn’t help but feel sad that Lucas was going to Hong Kong for the break while he was staying in Seoul. Lucas planned to leave on the following day since their results can be checked online, so Mark hoped Lucas would have fun seeing him play that night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas and he went together with Johnny and Jaehyun to the gig location which Lucas shared with his friends. They headed there almost an hour before the gig, to rehearse, and Lucas didn’t mind joining and watching them practice. It made Mark the happiest, however. He couldn’t stop laughing and chuckling at the silliest joke said, sometimes even at how teasing Jaemin was toward Jeno. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You truly changed him,” Jaehyun said as the band left to set the stage, leaving him and Lucas behind. “I’ve never seen him so cheerful and happy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas blushed and looked at Mark who was checking the guitar before nodding to Johnny. Jaehyun left his side and he made it to the nearest table. He was tall enough to see everything from his spot but when the band started playing, Lucas didn’t and couldn’t look at anyone but Mark. He looked so dashing with his confidence. At some point, Mark looked at him, mouthing the lyrics with a sparkling grin, and Lucas’s heart just raced in joy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sudden thought he loved the man hit him like a hammer on the face and he held on the table so to keep himself grounded. Thankfully, Mark focused on the song and didn’t notice the brief expression of pure shock on his face. They played three more songs before taking a break, Mark joined Lucas with Johnny and Jeno behind him and picked the ice from Lucas’s empty cup to rub his fingers in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My fingers feel numb today,” he complained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had a lot of writing to do the past three days, of course, it would,” Lucas commented, feeling hotter as the time went by. Mark was just inches away from him, their thighs locked together. Lucas could envelop Mark so easily if he wanted but he didn’t. He was terrified of losing the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Lucas,” Kun said brightly. He looked behind him to see Kun and Ten, and soon noticed the creepy sight of his stalker just by the entrance. Kun noticed him too. “Don’t give him any kind of attention, he would take it as interest.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas was tempted to glare at the man but he simply focused on the band which resumed playing a few songs. When the Band ended playing and joined them in the table, they celebrated the end of the exam week with a bottle of champagne that Kun insisted on paying for it. Mark had never tried something so fancy so he enjoyed it. “You like it?” Lucas asked him and he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fuzzier than I expected it to be and sweeter,” Mark commented, a grin on his lips, “but I like it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Drink as much as you want then,” Kun offered, “I won’t mind buying more.” Johnny enjoyed that very much, already tipsy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, hyung, we need someone sober tonight or we are walking home,” Jeno commented and Jaehyun patted his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, I won’t drink so I can drive you all home,” Jaehyun commented much to Jeno’s relief, while Ten looked at Kun and pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’ll drink only once we are alone,” he said, kissing the pout, “happy?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very,” Ten said as he pushed his cup away. “I’ll drink once we are home.” Kun chuckled at Ten’s words and held him close unaware that both Lucas and Mark felt so jealous. Mark drank so much he was upset and ended up drunk before Lucas could feel tipsy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn, he is wasted,” Johnny commented, his face red as well, as he laughed at Mark’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you are, dumbass,” Jaehyun said before picking Johnny’s wallet and car keys. “It’s almost the curfew for most of us, we should leave.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you lived in an outside dorm,” Mark pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My boyfriend would kill me if I’m late, so I don’t think it matters,” Jaehyun commented and Johnny poked his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taeyongie is the nicest, don’t make him sound mean.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas’s brain fast registered it. “You are gay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bisexual,” Jaehyun corrected, “but I live a healthy gay relationship. Just don’t tell this idiot, I don’t want to lose him yet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I… I won’t tell him.” Lucas looked at Mark in confusion before he noticed that the man was looking at him with droopy eyes. “We need to go home.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t wanna, you will leave me tomorrow and go to HongKong.” Mark pouted. “Don’t go, please,” Mark begged and Lucas blinked at him in confusion, unable to process why Mark was acting like that and blamed it on the alcohol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s call it a night and go home,” Kun said and they all got ready to leave. Kun was kind to drop Mark and Lucas off at the cafeteria so they could pick some food. Mark vomited as soon as he left the car so Lucas had to make him sit and knelt in front of him. “I’ll pick us dinner, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Mark answered back, getting soberer as the cold wind stirred his mind. He stood to make small walks when an arm wrapped his neck from behind, choking him, and a hand held his and twisted it. “What the fuck! let me go!”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Warning : Attempted Sexual assault / sexual violence</p><p>You can skip the assault to the * by clicking on ctrl+f on the page.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He was pulled to a nearby ally, not even far from where he was and pinned on the wall. “I told you the next time I see you, you will pay for whatever bullshit you fed Lucas. You think you are great because you rub yourself on him, huh? A slut like you know how to play its card but I know how to put you in your place.” The hand around his neck released him and landed on his belt which made him struggle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, let me go! Let me go, please!” Mark was panicking and suddenly the image of Lucas finding him like that made him struggle even more. “No! Let me go! Don’t touch me!” His hand was twisted harder and he screamed in pain before he was freed. His legs couldn’t carry him so he wobbled and landed on his knees as he looked at the man pinned on the wall by Lucas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough,” Lucas hissed with rage. “You stepped every possible boundary and dared to attack people around me. I had enough.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas, babe,” the man tried to touch Lucas’s face and Lucas didn’t just push his hand away but also slapped the man on the face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like it? When you follow me like a dog, with no dignity or honour,  do you like it? I told you I didn’t want to see your face for three damn years. I avoided you from the second I met you but you refused to learn and if words can’t teach you, I’ll do more than that. I’m ready to destroy your entire life, Gao Chai. I won’t rest until you have nothing left and that the world knows about your true identity.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark’s brain didn’t register what was said as Lucas spoke in Chinese but the following words were the first and perhaps the only words he learned in his Chinese class. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a monster.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas was clearly beyond angry as he let the man go and started hitting himself hard. It could be heard even and the man was shocked enough to just watch him do it while Mark wobbled toward his roommate and held his hand. “What are you doing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing what should be done,” Lucas said before picking his phone. “Kun ge, please return to my uni if you can, my stalker is here.” Mark stepped back, surprised, while Lucas just attacked the man. “Do it, what are you waiting for? I’m right in front of you? Why don’t you get your way with me? Or you only attack straight men?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Straight men? Where did I ever attack any straight man? You think I don’t know you are fucking with that twig behind my back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is no “behind your back” because I’m not yours,” Lucas hissed him, “I’ve never been yours. You never laid any claim on me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed to do the trick as the man attacked Lucas, trying to kiss and stripe his top. Mark froze at the sight, fear clawing itself on his mind. He didn’t know what to do so he screamed harder. He just kneeled and screamed like the world was ending. The man attacking Lucas briefly looked at him and resumed attacking Lucas while the latter was shocked and lost focus, which allowed the man to tear his shirt off and grind on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>*It brought him goosebumps and he tried to push the man away. “Don’t fucking touch me!” echoed in the street as he failed to until someone pushed the man away. Lucas finally noticed the people and as much as he felt disgusted and dirty, he pointed at the man and said, “he tried to rape me! This monster tried to rape me!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group of students gave the stalker a nice set of beating as Kun showed up, followed by the police. “I called the police as soon as you called,” Kun explained, reaching for Lucas while Ten who was with him approached Mark who remained where he was, swinging. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay. The monster is gone,” Ten said, patting on Mark’s back but it didn’t ease the man’s behaviour the slightest. It was concerning that Ten called Jeno and Jaemin, who called Jaehyun. It didn’t take the man time to show up, terror and worry were written on his face. He focused on Mark, as he came when the police took Lucas, Kun, some witnesses and the attacker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mark,” Jaehyun softly said as he forced Mark to look at him. “Do you want to go home with me? I can cuddle Taeyong and you can sleep on his bed. Or do you want to go to Johnny’s?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t stop him,” Mark pitifully said, “he tried to get his ways with me and Lucas stopped him but when he tried to assault Lucas, I couldn’t do anything.” He couldn’t hold the tears from flowing like a river, “I’m the worst, am I? I couldn’t do shit about it. I couldn’t even protect myself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are drunk, Mark, of course, you won’t be able to protect yourself,” Ten assured. “It is not your fault if that man is a monster. He made Lucas suffer for three years, he is the bad guy, not you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at where he left them and shook his head. “I should have done more than just crawl here and cry,” he mumbled to himself and Jaehyun just pulled him up before telling Ten that he would take Mark to his place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not in the right space for anything, I think,” Jaehyun said which made Ten nod, “please return home safely and be careful.” Ten smiled kindly and nodded as he observed Jaehyun lead Mark to Johnny’s car. “How lucky can I be to keep the car?” Jaehyun mumbled to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ride was silent except Mark’s sniffing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Jaehyun eventually asked as he parked in front of his apartment building. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Mark admitted as he looked at Jaehyun. “Watching someone being sexually assaulted in front of me made my own experience ten times more traumatizing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun wasn’t aware Mark meant his childhood trauma so he didn’t see the gravity of what happened. He just sighed and led Mark home. Taeyong was worried sick for Mark that he made him a soup. “It would help you clear your mind, especially from the alcohol,” Taeyong promised. Mark wasn’t hungry but Taeyong rarely made him anything so he drank the soup and excused himself to Taeyong room, which always seemed less lively and rather plain. He never commented on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t sleep and laid there lifeless, replaying Lucas struggling to fight the man on his mind. It made him feel worse to think that Lucas could have avoided that if he was just a little more careful and able to protect himself. If he could free himself from the man, nothing of what happened would happen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blamed it on himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Lucas was glad the students thought he was the one assaulted and as the police handled the case, The man called for a Lawyer and so did Lucas. He called his father and told him the man tried to assault him sexually. It was enough to send Lucas’s father into a rage and he promised he would ruin the man’s entire existence and that Lucas should stay there until the Lawyer took over the case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas was glad he could stay for a while, as he worried for Mark. He had to see the man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kun and he took a taxi as they left Ten with the car. They found the man sleeping inside which made Kun smile. The drive home, however, was tight. “He said you provoked him,” Kun commented, “and for once, I believe him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He tried to rape Mark and I couldn’t think of a better way to make him go to jail for it without mentioning Mark’s name except this,” Lucas admitted without blinking. He looked like someone destroyed his soul when the man’s touches and kisses replayed on his skin as he remembered it; “I want to have a bath.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Kun said in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t realize how affected Lucas was until he heard quiet sobs coming from the bathroom. He was about to ask if Lucas wanted food but decided to give the man some space and curled by his sleeping boyfriend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark returned to the dorm without expectations. He didn’t even want to think of the emptiness Lucas would leave behind him or how awkward things would be between them. He didn’t expect Lucas to be there so he simply looked at Lucas as tears fell on his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas smiled, his heart aching to hold Mark close and just ask if Mark didn’t think less of him after that. “Why are you crying? The man is behind the bar and I’ll sue him for the rest of my life if needed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He assaulted you,” Mark commented as he closed the door, “and it is my fault.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas’s expression dropped and he looked away. “Is this how you are going to see me? As someone assaulted?” Mark was about to speak but Lucas faced him with a serious expression. “That assault was provoked, I made him do that to me so I can sue him for sexual assault without using your name as the victim. It’s as simple as that, Mark. Don’t overthink it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark blinked at him in shock. “You did that for me?” He didn’t know why it only made him feel worse. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Relatively explicit smut.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Yes, because that monster tried to do bad things to you, he deserved to be punished for even thinking of it.” Lucas held Mark’s shoulders and seriously said, “when you explained why you hate gays, I respected it because I know such trauma is hard to face, so when he touched you that way, I saw red and I also didn’t want you to feel ashamed of who you are or of being in public.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas scoffed. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like they loved me at this university, so I don’t mind anything as long as you are safe.” Mark could only look at Lucas, shocked, and the man simply smiled. “I don’t plan to leave Korea before my Lawyer is here to sue that man so I have time to spend with you. Do you want to go out? Let’s go and eat some chicken.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We haven’t had breakfast yet,” Mark commented which made Lucas’s smile brighten. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s have some western breakfast then,” he offered, picking his wallet and looking at Mark who didn’t move. “Come on!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark held his arm, still shocked and still tearing up. “You aren’t acting fine, right? You aren’t faking it, right?” A sudden expression flashed on Lucas’s face and Mark had to close his eyes. “Fuck.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay, Mark. Please, let’s not talk about it.” Lucas was relieved Mark didn’t push and just followed him outside. He still noticed how Mark kept the distance between them small as if he was waiting for Lucas to break down. Mark usually kept his distance, mostly because of the bullies, but he could feel Mark’s heat right then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They took a taxi to a coffee shop and had a silent but comfortable breakfast. “You know… I wonder if you are more comfortable around people because of me or because you realized not everyone is a monster.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mostly you,” Mark admitted. “You were nice to me despite the bullying I caused you so I learned to just swallow my reaction toward homosexuality and its link to my trauma. For Jeno and Jaemin, I think I just didn’t care since they didn’t interact with me much, I am not sure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas wondered if Mark was aware Jaehyun had a boyfriend. “I hope you will overcome that trauma,” he said instead. “It will give me strength.” He avoided Mark’s eyes but he could tell Mark got exactly what he meant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark thought of facing and overcoming his trauma. He had been thinking of that since he laid alone in Taeyong’s bed. “Have sex with me,” he said and Lucas chocked on hot chocolate, eyeing him in shock before looking around to see if someone heard him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mark…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark shook his head. “No, I’m serious. Have sex with me,” he said, hopeful that Lucas would see what he wanted without him saying it. “I want to go all the way and just face that fear now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then hate me after it?” Lucas asked him in worry but Mark simply chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to hate you for something I consented to do. I just want to do it with you, not some stranger,” Mark explained before adding, “I feel safe around you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was enough to make Lucas give in. “Okay. If I am your safest option, I’ll do it. But, don’t push yourself or act like you want it when you don’t want to do it. I’m not some kind of monster who won’t take a No, okay?” Mark nodded, relief clear on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They resumed eating, even if something buzzed between them. They took some Chicken takeouts for Lunch, Lucas made sure to buy some Lubes and condoms, and instead of heading to the dorm, Lucas took Mark to a flat. “It’s not furnished aside from a futon. I got it as a gift when I came here but I thought I would be lonely so I paid for the dorm,” Lucas nervously explained as they took the elevator. “I came here when I said I’ll stay with friends that night. I just didn’t tell you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.” Mark didn’t expect the place to be so beautiful. He indeed had only a futon but it looked quite fancy in the middle of the beige marbling. He sat down first and looked at Lucas who looked nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to do this?” Lucas asked him </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded and pointed at him. “And you?” Lucas nodded at that and Mark lied down, waiting. Lucas felt like his heart would jump out of his ribcage and Mark felt equally terrified of the experience. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas slowly approached Mark, asking. “Can I kiss you?” Mark looked at him like a deer caught in headlights and he explained, “just to test how comfortable this is for us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded and pulled Lucas close, pecking his lips when Lucas just held his jaw and kissed Mark back, with passion but still slowly and delicately. Mark gasped before he answered the kiss, surprised by how pleasant it felt to be touched by Lucas. They didn’t do much more than that for a while and Mark couldn’t think of anything but the man above him. When Lucas stepped back to take his shirt off, Mark’s mind zoomed on the bruises and marks he had around the chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I touch you?” He asked and Lucas nodded, nervous until he felt Mark sit up to touch his neck first. He knew he had something there as the police took pictures of it before a policeman was kind to hand him a white shirt. Mark didn’t hesitate to kiss the marks and looked at Lucas who observed him silently. “I kissed them to heal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas smiled, finding Mark so cute at that moment, and said: “Thank you.” He gave Mark space to do whatever he wanted even if the stalker’s touches still haunted his mind and soon Mark stopped touching him and held his cheeks, soft and careful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are loved, you are respected, you are needed, you deserved better than all this,” Mark said sincerely and Lucas’s eyes got teary but he kept on smiling. “Don’t think you are defined by his touches, you are defined by how those who truly love you see you. A caring and beautiful person, that’s who you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that how you see me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded and Lucas kissed him, touched, before he felt Mark lift his shirts at once. He sat there topless and Lucas could finally touch what he desired to touch the most. His hands touched Mark’s mole around the nipple and smiled. “It’s cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at his chest and flushed red all over the neck. “My mole?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas nodded as he said, “It looks like a little star.” He looked at Mark and asked, “Can I kiss it?” Mark was confused Lucas was even interested in that mole, so nodded absentmindedly but gasped and moaned as beautiful shivers ran down his spin the second Lucas’s lips and tongue touched his chest. The man’s lower lip kept on teasing Mark’s nipple and he moaned eventually which made Lucas give Mark’s nipple a little suck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas!” Mark yelped but didn’t push Lucas away so the man pushed him to lay down and just kissed the man’s chest and abdomen like it was the last time he would see it. Mark couldn’t stop from thinking that Lucas felt like he was leaving him after this and he held on Lucas more. He moaned at the touches as his hand ran through Lucas’s hair, running his fingers on the man’s scalp softly before holding into his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas eventually faced him and Mark just kissed the man avidly and held on him tighter. “Can I?” Lucas asked as he tugged the belt and Mark nodded, breathless, lifting his butt so that Lucas could slide his pants and underwear off. He even tugged his briefs when Lucas didn’t touch him there. “Mark,” Lucas’s voice had a hint of shock and Mark looked at where Lucas was looking, noticing his length standing tall and laying on his abdomen, waiting to be touched. “You… I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are cute when you are flustered,” Mark commented before kissing Lucas softly. He laid there and observed Lucas approach the base of his shaft, kissing anywhere but it. Mark grew needier as Lucas did that but enjoyed the kisses so much he didn’t complain. He shamelessly moaned, shivering whenever the kiss landed on a sensitive spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas did let go for a moment standing to pick something from the bags they brought and Mark just observed him from where he was laying. Lucas looked quite shy and flustered but he still felt so big, intimidating and powerful when he walked back. Mark could feel his length twitch at that. “I will do something to make you feel less pain so please bear with me,” Lucas said and Mark nodded before pouting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will I be the only naked man here?” Mark asked, mostly because he wanted to see a naked Lucas. Lucas paused before sitting down and took off his pants, leaving a boxer that barely could conceal his eagerness and Mark’s heart raced at how big it looked from there. His eyes trailed down to Lucas’s knees before the man sat down and kissed his shaft. Mark moaned, shivering and arched his back as Lucas kept on going until he had Mark’s length inside his mouth, the head hitting the man’s throat. “Fuck, Lucas!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas was confident with his skills so he gave his might on blowing Mark just as he coated Mark’s rims with Lube. He made sure some was around his second ring of muscles, which he slowly kept on stretching with his fingers. Mark didn’t notice as Lucas’s mouth was making him feel tons of other things until the stretch grew to be uncomfortable. “Ah! It stings,” he hissed and Lucas massaged his tight at that, letting go for a while before redoing it. He kept on trying until Mark felt comfortable despite him stretching his rings to what he felt was his size.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let go of Mark with a pop and looked at the man who was shaking with desire. “Can I truly go all the way in?” He asked worriedly and Mark whined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, yes, I can’t wait for it anymore.” It sounded so suggestive that Lucas’s chest turned red. He wore a condom, lubed it generously before he lifted Mark’s waist a little. “Please, Lucas…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yukhei,” Lucas corrected, “My real name is Yukhei. Can you say it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yukhei,” Mark obediently said which brought shivers to Lucas’s body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and kissed Mark before whispering, “ready?” Mark nodded and Lucas just pushed his length inside Mark’s relaxed rings. Mark tensed and he paused. “Breathe, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels so big,” Mark whispered back, sounding terrified, “It won’t fit in me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas chuckled, “It would don’t worry about that. Just focus on relaxing and breathing, okay?” Mark nodded, breathing in and out as he tried to relax. Lucas helped him by giving Mark’s length slow strokes, and he soon was relaxed enough for Lucas to push in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point, he felt like his insides were being stretched and that his butt cheeks would be split apart but the extra stretch slowly stopped being painful as Lucas paused to give him time to adjust and just kissed his jaw, teasing his nipple and length. Mark could only hold into Lucas and moan at how good Lucas was making him feel despite the pain. When the sensation died, he gave Lucas a slow tug on his hair which made the tall man look up from his neck. “It’s not uncomfortable now,” he simply said and Lucas smiled before pushing out almost entirely and charged in which made Mark scream, especially since Lucas’s size was pressing something he had never known existed the entire time. “Fuck! That felt good!” He moaned loud and Lucas felt courageous enough to keep on going, picking a slow pace. “Oh my god! Yukhei, Lucas, please… So good!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark’s voice filled the space before Lucas’s voice could be heard grunting and moaning at how Mark’s body welcomed him more and more at every thrust. He kept on giving Mark until the man started shaking violently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck, I’m cumming, I can’t ...” Mark whined and Lucas kissed under the man’s ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then do it, my love. Just cum for me.” Lucas didn’t register what he said until Mark had strips of white on his body while he kept his pace, riding himself to release. It took him a while and he realized how Mark patiently stroked his hair, waiting for him. “Sorry, I must have hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it feels so good,” Mark assured him with a smile, “but now I am hungry.” Lucas chuckled as he pulled out. He first threw the condom before approaching Mark who he noticed was eyeing him strangely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make you a bath then heat the food, okay?” He offered and walked to the bathroom. He faced the mirror and looked at himself first, trying to see what Mark made him look like that, but eventually, he just filled the tub and tried to block the assault of negative thought that hit him. He knew he was just insecure and blamed it on the previous night events.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up to find Mark standing by the door. “You look burdened,” Mark commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… wondered what made you look at me weirdly earlier,” Lucas admitted, mostly so he won’t let Mark see how insecure he felt. “I wondered if I looked ugly to you while being naked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were big,” Mark corrected, as he looked away. “You looked big while normal so I wondered how big you were inside me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas observed the man then looked down to himself before realizing that yeah he was big normally and he looked at the embarrassed Mark. “Oh! yeah. I didn’t think of that,” he said to himself before chuckling. “I’m stupid.” He felt hands on his shoulders and looked up to Mark who hugged him. “Mark…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not ugly or stupid, okay?” the man said before he sighed in content. “It was… better than I expected it to be. You were the best first time a man can ever ask for, Yangyang was right.” Mark was honest, Lucas could tell, and it filled his chest with pride and happiness so he pulled Mark to sit on his legs, before hugging the man tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I join you in the tub?” he asked, “I’ll keep my hands for myself, I promise.” Mark chuckled and nodded. Lucas sat down in the tub once it was full before he led Mark to sit on his lap. He allowed Mark to rest on his chest while he picked a soap bar and just soaped the man, making sure to rub the cum off the man. He even washed his length and ran a hand between his legs. It took him a moment to realize Mark didn’t react. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Mark said before shifting to rest properly on Lucas. “I love it.” It made Lucas happy so he hugged Mark and rested his chin on the man’s head. “I’ll miss you when you go to Hong Kong, Lucas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll miss you too, but we will talk often and I’ll make sure to bring you tons of good stuff,” Lucas assured him which made Mark chuckle, humming an okay. They fell into silence for a moment before the water grew colder and they left it. “I don’t have towels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even better,” Mark said eyeing Lucas’s body before looking at him in the eyes, “you make me feel so small, like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you are smaller than me,” Lucas teased, while his chest grew redder of embarrassment. “I’ll heat the food, I think the kitchen has a microwave. Meanwhile, wear something before you catch a cold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded and Lucas indeed found him dressed so he picked his clothes to wear them back before he heard the microwave beep. He and Mark sat down by the big window that illuminated the living room and ate while talking about random things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would you feel about bisexual people?” Lucas asked him suddenly, “does it feel like gay people?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Mark frowned, “I am bisexual at this point. I mean, I enjoyed what we did and I enjoyed the times I had sex with women back when I came here for my Korean citizenship but I don’t know how I feel about them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You slept with women?” Lucas couldn’t help but feel hurt by that. Mark didn’t seem to notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “I was lonely and so I met a few girls who eventually were willing to sleep with me around that time. I didn’t sleep with one for three years now,” Mark said, as he absently looked outside. “I didn’t feel the need to sleep around because I met Johnny and Jaehyun who as well came to get their Korean citizenship and joined the mandatory military service before they got into the college of their dreams.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you come here for citizenship? Canada got great schools,” Lucas said as he nibbled into his drumstick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark didn’t look at him when he said, “every corner of my neighbourhood reminded me of how people pitied me and treated me like I was a disabled person. I thought if I started over in Korea, I’ll be happier and I wasn’t wrong. I’m happier than I was in a while, despite all the shit I went through.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Despite what happened today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at him right in the eyes and said, “Despite what happened yesterday, despite how I hated myself because I failed to protect you, Lucas, and despite the fact, I was terrified beyond my mind yesterday. I was never as happy as I am with you, Johnny and Jaehyun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas smiled in relief. He kept that smile on until he was done eating. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” Lucas asked him and Mark looked at him in shock. “I mean… I don’t usually sleep with people I don’t at least take on a few dates so I wish if we could go on a date or two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that so?” Mark asked him, a teasing expression on his face. “Aren’t you falling for my charms and trying to hide it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas looked at Mark briefly before fidgeting on his spot, “maybe?” It made Mark laugh, sounding joyful, and Lucas tried to hide how happy he was to hear that. “So, date?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or two,” Mark said with a nod and Lucas felt so happy. “Where do you plan to take me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas frowned. “I didn’t plan this, but I know a few dating spots I’d love to take you. I just need to wait until I’m done with my lawyer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Mark’s expression fell. “Won’t you go to Hong Kong when it happens?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas frowned, thinking. “Why don’t you come with me? I’d love to make you meet my family; I told them a lot about you.” Mark looked uncomfortable with the idea so Lucas said, “You don’t have to say yes, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just planned to work on a few more gigs with Jaehyun and Johnny for the break -you know, to earn some cash,” Mark said with a sorry expression. “I wish I could go but I don’t know how to work on the gigs if I go with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas’s heart squeezed in pain because he truly wanted to take Mark with him but he understood Mark’s need for those gigs, he knew the man used most of his cash to lessen the pressure on his father. “I understand but once I’m back, you can’t say no to dates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Mark promised with a smile. They left the house to meet Johnny and Jaehyun. Everybody cornered Mark, checking on his state. “I’m fine, guys. It was just a minor breakdown.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A minor breakdown? You cried the entire night!” Jaehyun commented in disbelief. “Taeyong and I couldn’t sleep so much we worried.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Lucas asked him with a raising eyebrow and Jaehyun blushed instantly. Mark thankfully didn’t notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, I promise. I had a better morning with Lucas, we had western Breakfast and had chicken and just bathed on the sun,” Mark said, omitting the sex part, while Lucas just smiled to himself as some images of Mark basking in pleasure popped in his mind. He could feel heat creep in his chest as he remembered that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Jeno asked him and he nodded, embarrassed. “Ten hyung didn’t tell us much of what happened but he said you were attacked hence why Mark hyung panicked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Lucas said, “a stalker of mine just got on my nerves and we fought. I am suing him as we speak.” He picked his phone which vibrated. “Oh, shit.” He realized every single friend of his had called him and texted him. “I need to make a call.” He rushed out which worried Mark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked him, “you look different, Mark. Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at his friend and smiled. “I am better. As long as Lucas is not too hurt by what happened, I will always feel better.” It was true but it dodged whatever Jaehyun remarked. He looked at his bandmates and said. “I want to write a song to wind myself off. Something I’ll be able to play for Lucas when he comes back from Hong Kong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure like your roommate,” Jaemin commented and Mark didn’t deny that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he looked at Lucas who was laughing outside of the bar they were in. “He grew on me,” he said, smiling when Lucas looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You almost look like you love him,” Jaemin insisted and Mark just ignored that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, who wouldn’t like this guy,” Johnny commented, “He is such a nice dude, talking to him makes you feel so warm, plus he is super good-looking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And he is big,” Jaemin commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded absently but didn’t comment. Lucas’s naked body was a masterpiece, a work of art, and a side of his brain was happy he got to see it. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>another explicit smut <br/>A sudden invitation in Kunten safe haven.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It tore a smile off his lips and flushed red on the neck when Lucas joined them only to lean on Mark more. “My friends will come and join me in the bar,” he announced with a worried expression on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will be in the practice room backstage,” Mark told him reassuringly, “just don’t worry about us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Lucas approached his ear and said, “I don’t want to face them yet. Kun ge told them everything that happened to me.” Mark had a knowing expression and nodded, holding into Lucas’s hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t forced to talk about what happened or to face their pity, Lucas. You can just tell them you want not to speak of it and that you are here to enjoy a late gig and a late dinner, okay?” Mark’s assuring tone made Lucas nod as he inhaled and exhaled loudly. “Don’t push yourself to do something you don’t want to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thanks,” Lucas mumbled before he looked at the men who observed them in pure amazement. “Is it okay if I take Mark away for a second?” He asked. Everybody nodded and he pulled Mark outside, to an ally and faced the curious man. “I want a hug,” he announced and Mark opened his arms to welcome Lucas. The man buried his face into Mark’s neck as he wrapped the man tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything will be okay,” Mark whispered as he patted Lucas’s back. “I will be there for you anytime, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Lucas didn’t let go until they heard someone call for Mark. Only when they parted did Mark see Lucas’s tears. It broke his heart and he dried those tears before pulling Lucas close for a kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be here for you, I promise,” Mark said before pulling Lucas inside. They left Lucas on their table while they went to the practice room. “Does anyone have the number of any friend of Lucas?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have Ten’s number,” Jaemin said, offering his phone and Mark called Ten immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” Ten sounded cheerful which was hopeful for Mark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Mark.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling today, Mark? Are you feeling better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah but Lucas is worried,” Mark spoke on the corner of the room but he could see his friends watching. “Can you make sure nobody forces him to talk about yesterday? He doesn’t want to talk or think of it, Mr Ten. Please, for the sake of his mental health, can you make sure nobody treats him differently or at least push him to speak up for now? He needs time. I beg you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure. I’ll lecture those kids before we join Lucas, don’t worry,” Ten assured. “See you later then, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, see you later.” Mark ended the call before he could feel the sobs bubble out of him. He was hugged by Jaehyun before he sobbed which he was thankful for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas will be okay,” Johnny reassured as Mark felt a hand pat his back. “He is strong and he has you and his friends to keep him happy long enough to fight the trauma. Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark sniffed. “Thanks,” he said as he pushed his friends away so he could wipe his face. “I just… speaking of it hurts.” They nodded but didn’t push Mark to elaborate. Johnny simply asked him if he could play which he nodded to. He was glad they were understanding and didn’t act differently around him. They rehearsed for a while before taking a break and getting ready for the performance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Lucas was eaten by dread until Kun and Ten showed up with his friends who instead of babying him scolded him for not answering the entire day. “I worried sick for you, dude,” Yangyang said with a frown, “you never ignored my calls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had it on silent since yesterday, so I didn’t notice,” Lucas pointed at the bar. “I also didn’t charge it so it died and the bartender is charging it for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still,” Yangyang frowned as he scolded the man. “You scared me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’ll make sure to check the phone more often,” Lucas spoke with relief. “I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where were you the entire day?” Hendery asked him before stopping him and said. “Let me guess. You spend the day with Mark.” Lucas turned crimson and the boys laughed. “I knew you were whipped for the man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I just… I wanted to spend time away from everything and so he did. We just went to eat breakfast, had lunch, and just sat under the sun for the entire time. Just me, him and the silence.” Lucas avoided their eyes as he feared they would realize something more happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten butted in at that. “It’s your right, Lucas. Don’t mind them, they are nosy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are not!” Hendery and Yangyang complained which Ten ignored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You still need to talk to Xiao-Jun; he is dying to check on you, Lucas,” Ten pointed out. “He bombarded Kun’s phone with messages the entire morning.” Lucas nodded before picking Kun’s phone, without actually asking Kun. Kun leaned to see Lucas call Xiao Jun who answered instantly. Lucas spent at least five minutes reassuring Xiao Jun that he spent the day out without checking his phone and apologized million times before Xiao Jun told him he would be in Hong Kong for the break so they could meet and have fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xiao Jun’s cluelessness was making Lucas happier as he didn’t want to spend the break feeling sorry for himself. They shifted the subject about Sicheng who went missing for a week and as much as they worried, they knew that their friend would be sleeping the tiredness of exams away. Sicheng is known for being the laziest and a sleep-lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas was glad they didn’t force him to talk about what happened the previous day but also wondered why they didn’t. The band showed up and he soon focused on Mark who smiled brightly when he noticed him. “Wow, I take that back. You are both whipped for each other,” Hendery commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No wonder he called us for your sake,” Ten commented as well to which Lucas looked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He called you?” he asked Ten who nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He sounded so emotional and worried on the phone, I couldn’t push him to talk more,” Ten explained, “but he asked us to drop the entire subject about yesterday, which we agreed to until you are ready to open up.” It made Lucas look at Mark who was setting his Guitar. “He cares so much for you if he was willing to beg me for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas found himself shedding tears. “Fuck, he’s adorable,” he hissed eventually and Kun patted his back. “Thanks for letting me know,” he said to Ten as he turned away from Mark to dry his tears. He sniffed and smiled brightly at Mark when he looked back. His friends didn’t say a thing as the music started and they watched the band play.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark didn’t look away from Lucas unless he was playing a hard cut of the song and Lucas’s friends didn’t fail to notice that. Once the band finished their gig and joined Lucas and his friends, Yangyang said, “if I didn’t know you were straight, Mark hyung, I would think you had feelings for my dear friend right here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at him in confusion and Ten added, “You both didn’t stop looking at each other the entire time, I don’t think you even blinked.” Both Lucas and Mark blushed at that and Lucas pulled Mark closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mark and I are just very close now, more than we ever were. Right?” He said before looking at Mark who looked up to meet his eyes. It was a terrible mistake because they wanted to kiss each other so badly and if it wasn’t for Johnny making an obnoxious cough, they would have done it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are in public, guys,” he commented and Mark turned crimson while Lucas just smiled as his racing heart almost made him breathless. “I thought Jaehyun and Taeyong were shameless but you two are obnoxious for new besties.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made Mark look at Jaehyun who jabbed Johnny’s side. “You and Taeyong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you know,” Jaehyun dodged the subject smoothly, “we cuddle whenever one of you comes home so we are on a high level of skinship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unless you banged, you won't reach our level though,” Lucas mumbled low to tease Mark but Ten heard him. Ten nearly choked on his drink and looked at them before eyeing Mark who avoided his eyes, feeling heat creep up his ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will turn into a tomato if you get any redder, Mark,” Yangyang commented and Lucas looked at Mark who jabbed his side softly. It made him jump but he laughed heartily as he pulled Mark closer. “So, any plan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing for now,” Lucas announced first, “I’ll go home and talk to my father about pursuing a modelling career here instead of Hong Kong since that asshole has more influence on China and Hong Kong and not on the Korean market.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kun seemed happy about it. “Really? You are back? I’m happy you are considering it because at least five photographs are ready to work with you again, even if it means to work with you here.” Mark looked at Lucas and eyed his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can see why you would think of modelling, you are tall,” Mark commented and Lucas chuckled before he whispered into Mark’s ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I also look good naked, don’t I?” Mark’s blush didn’t fade so he only got redder as he nodded, biting his lips. “I’ll share my portfolio with you when I’m back. I left it in Hong Kong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to see that,” Mark said as he smiled brightly at Lucas. At that moment, what happened on the previous night felt like a nightmare they woke up from. Mark couldn’t even feel in his heart a spark of pain with Lucas standing so close, with the scent of soap reminding Mark of their morning. When Kun drove them home, Mark allowed Lucas to hold him close as they observed the streets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll pick you tomorrow to meet the Lawyer,” Kun told them as Lucas and Mark had to get off, followed by a curious Hendery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Lucas simply said, not pushing it and holding Mark’s hand tight. Mark noticed and waited for Lucas to be out of the car before he moved Lucas’s hand closer to his chest. They waved to Kun and Ten before walking inside their dorm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you two tomorrow before my flight,” Hendery told them and Lucas pulled the man to a hug. Hendery’s expression softened incredibly as he tightened his hold into Lucas. “Make sure to answer my calls next time, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Lucas said without letting go. Mark couldn’t help but feel so jealous of how long their hug lasted. When Lucas and Hendery let go of each other, the latter just waved and walked to his dorm room while Lucas held into Mark’s hand and pulled him toward theirs. Mark was surprised but waited until they were inside their dorm room to ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas shook his head and pulled Mark to a hug. “I’m scared of them leaving me, of them… disappearing on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you feel dirty,” Mark finished and Lucas nodded on his shoulder. He sighed, pushing Lucas away. He locked the door properly before facing the worried man. He smiled and pulled Lucas to bed. “Let’s cuddle.” It brightened Lucas incredibly and the man fast took off his shoes and took off his shirt and pants before getting in bed. Mark could only chuckle at how cute Lucas looked, being eager for cuddles. He as well took off his shirt and pants before joining Lucas who enveloped him. The man’s hands on his back sent shivers down his spine and he felt a heat fill his briefs. “We should have showered and changed underwear, first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care,” Lucas shifted and soon Mark saw Lucas’s underwear in the man’s hand. “We can do that tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark chuckled and fast pushed his briefs out before showing to Lucas and throwing it away. He kept his eyes on Lucas who had a sudden dark expression on before he pulled Mark to a hug. It made Mark laugh. “I affect you that much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mark,” Lucas whined, “don’t tease me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” Mark pushed Lucas to look at him, “I’m honestly asking if having me naked and close like this makes you so eager, is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t stop thinking about this morning, right now, but I don’t want to do something you don’t want me to do,” Lucas admitted and Mark chuckled. He suddenly threw Lucas’s cover on the floor. “Mark!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your bed squeaks when you move, so let’s take it somewhere quieter?” He said as he ran his hand down Lucas’s side. “Alright, Yukhei?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Lucas was seriously turned on by how bold Mark was but he also was nervous. They took it to the floor, Lucas had picked a spare bottle of Lube and condoms and lied by Mark’s side while Mark took his bed sheet and covered them. “Can I truly touch you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, please!” Lucas kissed him at that and he relaxed, feeling Lucas’s hands touch his body softly. “No need for more foreplay,” he whined but Lucas didn’t stop until his tongue was sucking into the mole on his chest, teasing the nipple and his hands had Mark’s semi-hard length aching to be touched more. Mark had to bite on his lips to keep his moans down when he felt Lucas’s fingers around his rims. He realized how meticulous Lucas was, how slow and patient he was with details. When he was stretched, Mark tried to breathe slowly through his nose and to focus on keeping his body as relaxed as possible. It made Lucas look up to meet Mark’s desire-filled expression and smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure learn fast,” Lucas commented as he leaned to kiss and suck into Mark’s nipples, which made Mark jolt and moan loud through his tightly sealed lips. “I love how loud you are despite how little I’m doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yukhei,” Mark moaned, “I can’t keep up. I’m going insane.” It made Lucas spare him more teasing and just focus on stretching Mark while kissing the man softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he pushed his condom-ready and lubed length inside Mark’s welcoming walls, Lucas couldn’t help but hiss, “I think I love you,” in Cantonese which Mark wasn’t good with but from Lucas’s expression guessed it was a good thing. Lucas was fully in before he paused and looked at Mark who looked much relaxed than in the morning. “Good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Mark said, breathless, before holding into Lucas’s neck and said, “fuck me, Yukhei.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make love to you,” Lucas said in Cantonese but Mark didn’t register that as he picked a pace already and he was pressing into the man’s prostate with every thrust. Mark was going insane with pleasure that hit him over and over. He could only hold into Lucas, whimpering his name every time their skin collided before Lucas lost patience and speeded up, adding strength to his movement. Mark couldn’t keep it in and filled their bodies with white strips of undenied euphoria. His orgasm didn’t die even when Lucas pulled out with a full condom to throw. He remained there, legs apart and pouted at Lucas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One more round, please?” Mark was ready to beg for it and thankfully Lucas simply asked him if he was serious. “Yes, I want you once more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn, Mark, you will be the death of me,” Lucas admitted, picking another condom and lubing himself generously. He wasn’t as hard as before but it didn’t stop him for sliding inside Mark before pulling him up until Mark was sitting on his crossed legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark gasped at how deep it went and at how strong the pressure on his inside felt. “It feels so good,” he said, thrusting his hips a few times which made Lucas grow even bigger inside him. “Fuck, you feel so big right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am sorry, does it hurt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark shook his head, biting his lips as he wrapped Lucas’s neck and buried his face into his skin. “Help me move, it feels so good that I can’t move.” Lucas chuckled and held Mark’s butt which made Mark feel ten times better before guiding him into tiny movements. Mark couldn’t move enough well to push Lucas out and in but whatever movement they were making inside his guts was making him see stars already and he moaned shamelessly into Lucas’s skin. “Yukhei, you feel so good, please… ah, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas loved how Mark sounded and it only made him lose patience. He laid Mark down on his back and just slammed into him, ramming the waves of orgasm that seemed to crash on them both, each wave at the time. Mark and he peaked at once, which filled Lucas with euphoria. Once they fell back from their little moment of pure bliss, Lucas discarded his condom aside and just pulled Mark close, kissing the breathless man with so much love that Mark couldn’t help but melt on it. They said nothing as Lucas wrapped them in covers, uncaring of how Mark’s cum would stain them. They slept cuddled into each other, holding into each other tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark couldn’t remember the last time he slept happily the way he did that night. He woke up alone, on his bed, cleaned and covered with Lucas’s cover. He sat up, hissing at a sudden soreness on his back and noticed the food by his side with a note. “Kun came to take me to meet my lawyer; I’ll come back with painkillers and some nice food, okay? Just rest until I come back, I won’t take much time. –Lucas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark chuckled at that and left bed for the bathroom. He showered and dressed up nicely before picking food. He sat down and reviewed his day over. He felt like he did the right thing, for a million reasons, but a tiny voice kept saying that he was misleading Lucas and that he would only hurt him eventually. “You are not gay, Mark. Are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas returned to the room a bit late after Lunch with a few bags. “I went to the best BBQ and got us grilled pork. It’s still hot because Kun drove me back so it is still great,” he said, setting the bags and opening the foils to show smoking hot meat. Mark smiled and enjoyed Lunch which made Lucas happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how did it go with the lawyer?” Mark asked as the meat was gone and they had a beer each.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He assured me that the case won’t end here and I may sue him in China and Hong Kong which Dad promised to do for me,” Lucas said, sipping his beer. “The man is sure going to be banned from Korea after this which means I’ll be safe as long as I am in Korea, we will see about Hong Kong once I’m there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad.” Mark smiled at Lucas, holding into his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had a calm moment before Hendery knocked on their door and told them Kun and Ten were inviting them for dinner in their penthouse. Mark was nervous about it for some reason and as they took a taxi there, he held into Lucas for reassurance. Lucas looked at him when he did so, pulling him closer and studying his face. Once in front of the building, Lucas stopped Mark from getting. “You don’t have to go if you are uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark smiled brightly at that and said, “I’m okay. I’m just nervous since this is my first time getting in some couple’s house. I didn’t even buy something to get in with. Maybe we can buy something from a nearby grocery store, like milk or something. I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me, anything you think the grocery store has is already stored in their fridge,” Hendery reassured, “plus Ten would be offended if you got him a gift first, for some reason he wants to be the first one to give a gift.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark sighed and Lucas held his hand. “I’m here, okay?” Lucas said and Mark absently nodded. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mark found out about Lucas's feelings for him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They got in the elevator and despite Mark’s nervousness, he couldn’t help but gape at the space in front of them when the door opened. Kun had no front door. The Elevator led to his house directly. The living room area was split into three sections, a huge sofa faced a window while a small sofa with two side chairs faced a TV and in between was a huge table which seemed already full of food. Yangyang was sitting by the table with a glass of wine in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are here!” Ten yelled happily as he approached them. “You came on time for the food”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark bowed to Ten awkwardly. “Thank you for inviting me,” he said awkwardly, “I didn’t know what to bring as a gift and Hendery said it was okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was about to die as if he was meeting Lucas’s parents,” Hendery said with a laugh “I wonder how he would survive meeting Uncle and Auntie when they are so intimidating compared to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not intimidating enough?” Ten glared at Hendery before facing Mark and smiled. “Don’t worry, I hate it when people give me gifts first, so you did well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Mark asked him and as they made their way to the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The only person who ever gave me a gift first was Kunnie and I plan to keep it that way,” Ten said teasingly before adding on a serious note. “I just feel like I am giving you a gift because you gave me one. It makes me worry that I’m not sincere enough, it’s a little trauma of my own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see, it makes sense,” Mark assured, “and I don’t think it’s a little trauma, don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See?” Kun butted in as he came into the living room with more food, “I told you Mark won’t find that weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten smiled, kissing the man and resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Mark couldn’t help but look at Lucas and smile. The man didn’t get why he smiled but he still smiled back and pulled Mark to the table. They sat facing each other as the living room got livelier when suddenly Kun’s phone rang. “They are here!” Ten yelled again and clicked on a button on the wall. Soon, Johnny and Jaehyun showed up. “Welcome!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark noticed Johnny had a cake in hand and he hinted at the man to shut up. Johnny just looked at Ten then Mark in confusion. Ten laughed at that and explained that he hated getting gifts first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh well, you invited me to Lunch first so I brought food second,” Johnny explained with a teasing face and Ten chuckled accepting the cake. “Jaemin and Jeno couldn’t make it, they said they were on a date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Jeno told me about it,” Ten said before leading them to the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark observed the table and how his friends and Lucas’s friends got along. It was strange but felt so good that he looked at Lucas and extended his hand toward him. Lucas had done the same and they smiled as an exhale left their nose, they noticed Ten eyeing them and they pulled their hands away. Ten approached Mark and asked. “Are you both okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark smiled nodding. “We are enjoying this moment a little too much,” he admitted. “Thank you for inviting us, Ten.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten smiled brightly, happy, and nodded back. The food disappeared from the table but none of them moved, enjoying the wine and discussing long various things until Johnny announced his leave. “I have to prepare for tomorrow’s gig and meet the manager of the coffee shop we will play in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun stood as well to go with Johnny but stopped Mark. “We will handle it for today, have a break from all that since we don’t have practice today,” he said to Mark who nodded. He waved to his friends while Ten offered them to play cards. Mark noticed how the boys brightened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Money on the table?” Yangyang asked and Ten nodded, “I’ll get rich tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am much better at cards than the last time we played,” Hendery said with confidence while Lucas simply picked the plates with Kun and Mark joined him. Mark was shocked by how big the place was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah,” he let out, “you have so much space!” Kun chuckled, thanking Mark and they finished picking the dishes. It was tiring but they managed to clean the living room. “Wow, that was tiring.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I usually eat with Ten in the kitchen,” Kun said as he racked the dirty dishes in the dish machine before closing it and turning it on. The kitchen was kind of messy but looked spotless for Mark who offered to wash the pans and remaining dishes in the sink, Lucas insisted they would do that and Kun agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were alone in the kitchen, Mark and Lucas washed the dishes in silence for a while. “It made me happy,” Mark said, which surprised Lucas. “To see our friends getting along made me happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same,” Lucas said as he put the pan in place. "They made the effort for us, Hendery even pushed his flight to stay with us. It's heartwarming."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark dried his hands and held Lucas’s arm. He made Lucas face him before he smiled: "you realize then that you are still loved and respected by your friends despite what happened, right?" Lucas nodded and Mark sighed in relief. "I'm glad."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, Mark." Mark looked up to meet Lucas’s teary eyes and the man just pulled him into a hug. “I know what I did was provoked but it didn’t stop me from feeling like shit. If I didn’t have you around, I would have felt much worse.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark said nothing for a moment. “You didn’t have to do what you did back then, you know. I wouldn’t mind being known as his victim. It won’t be different from what I lived back then.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want him to make out unpunished and I didn’t want him to hurt you even more,” Lucas admitted. “I can go through the trial, I have my family’s support, but I can’t let you do that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Mark frowned. “Are you pitying me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas looked like Mark slapped him and he shook his head as he held the man’s hands. “No, never! I just… I wanted to protect you from the second he punched you that day. I knew he would do something and it is my fault it went like that. If I made a restraining order against him, I won’t have to do all that to make sure he is behind the bars for the rest of his life.”  Lucas looked at him expectedly and MArk deflated. “I am sorry I sounded like I pitied you because I didn’t.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I overreacted,” Mark reassured, running his hands on Lucas’s arms before Lucas held them again. “Let’s finish up and join them for a late card game.” Lucas nodded and they finished up with the dishes before noticing finally joining their friends who weren’t playing games. Instead, they were sitting around with cups of wine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you playing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were waiting for you,” Kun announced before picking the cards. They played in a kind of tight mood at first, which worried Lucas, but eventually loosened up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark ended up winning up over ten thousand dollars, which Kun was stupid to bet with, and getting so drunk that he kept on looking at Lucas and repeatedly asking:“He’s so pretty, isn’t he?” Lucas was glad most of them were wasted so he could die in embarrassment without them recalling much of it. He packed the money for Mark, as it was a rule the winner took the money home. Hendery sobbed about it as Lucas led to one of Kun’s guest rooms. He also led YangYang to one when his friend held his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I both respect you and want to smash your head with a hammer for what you did.” He said, hiccuping. “Sometimes, I think you are in love with that homophobic prick and It scares me shitless, bro. Please be careful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas was surprised but as YangYang snuggled a pillow and slept, he could only chuckle sadly. “I’m sorry, little brother. I’m already too in deep with that man.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark was the last he picked and he picked the man up just fine. He walked to the furthest guestroom which had a full glass wall and was illuminated by the half-moon. The bed by itself looked ethereal from he was standing and Mark pointed at it, mumbling something before Lucas chuckled and put him down. He made sure to slip Mark out of his jeans and upper shirt before doing the same and pulling Mark into a hug. “You know that I love you,” He said to Mark who nodded before shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark lifted his head, mostly out of it, and frowned before asking. “You love me?” Lucas chuckled and nodded only for Mark to beam. “I love you so much, Yukhei! You are the best!” Lucas laughed at that, pulling Mark and kissing his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Lucas said as he observed Mark. “Now, let us sleep so we can have a lot of fun tomorrow, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you have sex with me tomorrow?” Mark asked him as he laid down obediently. “I want to have sex with Yukhei all the time. Yukhei is so pretty and sexy and big!” He snuggled Lucas who just kept on smiling. “But Yukhei… Yukhei loves someone else, not me.” Mark said as sleepiness got over him. “Yukhei doesn’t love me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone else? When did Lucas ever say that he loved someone else? Lucas tried to remember but Mark’s presence and the darkness that filled the space when Lucas touched the remote for the curtains put him into a deep sleep before he could think further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the morning came, Mark opened his eyes on the outline of a neck and he blinked in confusion before noticing that he and Lucas were cuddling. It made him both panic and feel happy. He tried to push Lucas a little so he could just face the man and look at his face when the movement made him wince. He didn’t have hangover pain when he woke up but he was sure feeling it right then. He buried his face into Lucas’s neck and groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hangover?” Lucas whispered and Mark let out another groan. “Let me pick you some painkillers.” Lucas’s hand ran up from his waist to his neck before Mark felt Lucas move him gently. “Be right back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark Smiled, nodding. He was glad the curtains were thick enough to block the sun but still allowed some light through the fabric that gave Lucas’s body a dramatic outline. Lucas took a moment to return, only for Mark to see him holding a tray. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I made you some coffee and Toast,” Lucas said as he set the tray down. “Painkillers on an empty stomach can cause you issues.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Mark said as he forced himself to sit up. “Is anyone up?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kun Ge is awake, he wasn’t that drunk yesterday so he is fine. You guys, however… you were wasted.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark chuckled before picking his cup of coffee and the toast. “Won’t you eat too?” He asked eventually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kun ge is making me some traditional food, he knows how hungry I am when I’m hungover,” Lucas explained as he picked his pants. “You can join us once you are better, okay?” Mark nodded and observed Lucas walking out. He couldn’t help but feel warm at how caring Lucas was. He finished as much coffee as he could before taking the painkillers. He laid down for a moment, massaging his head before he decided it would take him more than just “a moment” to ease his headache. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Picking the tray, he made his way to the kitchen only to pause at what he just heard. “I am in love with him,” Lucas had said. “I can’t deny it anymore, Ge. I am in love with my roommate.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark stepped back, a wave of terror hitting him. He didn’t know where to go or what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then do you plan to tell him?” Kun had asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. He doesn’t love me that way and I don’t plan on letting him know.” Lucas sounded sad as he spoke. “I just wanted you to know because I needed it out of my chest. Mark won’t accept me that way for a million reasons other than what happened to us. He doesn’t accept the LGBTQ community for a reason. A reason I can’t tell you, but a reason strong enough for me to give up pursuing his heart from the start.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Mark felt his heartbreak at how Lucas decided to give up because of him, a sigh echoed in the silence and sniffs soon followed. “It’s okay. I’m here for you, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark decided to get in and noticed Kun holding Lucas close and the man buried his face into the man’s chest. “Is everything alright?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas looked at him, surprise written on his face. “Yeah,” he said on a rush. “Why are you here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My head still hurts so I doubt I can rest. I brought the tray back,” Mark spoke rather awkwardly before he put the tray down. Sitting by Lucas, Mark eyed them. “Are you sure you are okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I am just emotional,” Lucas assured Mark before smiling. “Do you have plans for today?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a gig by eight so I’ll have to go to the dorm, shower and change clothes, then eat something before I go to practice,” Mark listed as he tried to force himself not to think of Lucas’s confession. “I’ll have to call my dad too and let him know that I’m doing okay. I didn’t call him the entire semester more than five times.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas handed his phone. “I have a premium subscription, so you can make an international call if you want.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I really?”Mark asked as he noticed that it was fifteen to twelve and he knew by a short calculus that his father would be still working. Lucas nodded toward him and he dialled the shop’s phone, hoping that a landline would be cheaper on Lucas’s bills. It didn’t take time for his father to answer. “Dad!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas observed Mark as he broke down while speaking to his father. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine dad. I just missed you so much. I’m saving money so I can come to see you by the year’s end, so don’t worry about the ticket, okay? I’ll handle it. How is Mom, how everybody? Oh, this is my roommate’s phone, you remember the boy Lucas I told you about. Yeah, the Gay one.” Mark looked suddenly uncomfortable but soon chuckled. “Dad, don’t overreact, he is super nice. He even gave me his phone to talk to you. Don’t worry about him, he is harmless… I on the other hand… I’ll tell you later, okay? We can talk via Line, just let anyone show you how okay? I’ll have to hang up now dad, okay? I’ll make sure to call again. Yeah, bye. I love you too, dad. Bye.” Mark ended the call before he stood to look away, shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas and Kun didn’t comment until he turned to hand over the phone. “You know you won ten thousand dollars from me yesterday, right?” Kun asked him and Mark blinked at him in confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think the amount is like sixteen, I barely put down the five hundred I had, YangYang was confident and bet three thousand, Hendery also bet another Three thousand, while Ten ge and Mark only bet with ten dollars,” Lucas corrected Kun before looking at the shocked Mark. “But yeah, you won that much yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t remember if I won the last game,” Mark said in shock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did, both Lucas and I were drunk but much aware of what was happening,” Kun said as he handed a properly wrapped set of money. “You can use it to visit your father. I bet it would be enough to pay you a ticket back and forth from Vancouver.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would. It definitely would but,” Mark asked, uncertain, as he eyed the money, “can I truly have it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kun chuckled nodding and Lucas held Mark’s hand, trying to reassure the man. “Go home, Mark, and spend some time with your family. I’m sure Johnny and Jaehyun wouldn’t mind if you get some solo time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can replace Mark in the band,” said a voice behind them and they looked at the sleepy Ten who got in. “I am not great but I’ll manage if I practice with them.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at the money and sighed. “Thank you but I can’t go now,” Mark said with a smile. “I prefer sending them money. I know they must need it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But…” Lucas was about to argue but Mark held his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am saving enough for a trip on Christmas, so I’m okay. I can wait, Lucas.” Mark was also hoping he could stay in Korea long enough to make a song for Lucas before his return. “Thank you for trying to help me out and for the money,” he said to Kun who smiled kindly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas’s friends are mine, so don’t be shy to ask for my help if you need it,” Kun assured and Mark nodded. They didn’t say much until Lucas was done with his food and they went to the dorm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once there, Lucas started packing while Mark showered again. Once he was done, he noticed that Lucas had his bag ready. “Are you going to Hongkong today?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’ll go after tomorrow but I prepared some clothes I wanted to give my friend Xiao Jun. I never wore them because they didn’t fit me,” Lucas explained. “I have plenty of clothes at home, you know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Mark said as he picked clothes to wear. “But why don’t you give your clothes to your friends here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Xiao-Jun loves to wear my style contrary to the other two.” Mark simply nodded and didn’t push that as he was busy dressing up. “Do you have any plans for Lunch?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, why?” Mark looked toward Lucas who fidgeted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas offered him his phone and Mark noticed the picture of a Menu. “Would you like to try this restaurant with me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The menu looked quite normal but the prices were expensive so he hesitated. “The food is expensive,” he commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about that, I spend as much on food when I’m out,” Lucas assured him as he held his hands. His eyes sparkled in hope as he asked. “Will you go to that restaurant with me? As in a date.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A date.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Mark answered without thinking twice. He promised Lucas to go on a date with him. “But, I want us to talk after that.” Lucas’s expression shifted but didn’t change much so Mark worried. He wanted to make Lucas happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Lucas said, picking some clothes. “I’ll get ready.” He locked himself in the bathroom, letting his tears flow before Mark would notice. He rested his head on the door, wondering how he would survive the rest of his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Mark sent in his group chat with Johnny and Jaehyun: “Lucas has feelings for me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we know,” Wrote Johnny. “What’s new?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun was fast to write, “we noticed his behaviour around you and the way he looked at you. We guessed he was in love with you around the time you started hanging out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark couldn’t help but curse himself for being oblivious. “Yeah, but what do I do now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do?” Johnny asked him. “You know that no matter what we say, we can’t decide for you or pick what makes you happy, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know but… The options I have are limited, aren’t they? I can’t break his heart, especially not after what happened, but also… I’m not ready to have a relationship with a gay man.” A tiny voice whispered he had enjoyed having sex with Lucas and that he told Lucas he was possibly Bisexual, but he also knew he couldn’t tell his friends about that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you tell Lucas that?”Jaehyun offered. “Maybe he had an option for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d have to tell him that I heard him admit he loved me,” Mark commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me,” Jaehyun wrote back and Mark frowned. He knew how accurate Jaehyun could be and he worried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust you but if it fucks up, I blame you,” Mark wrote back only for Jaehyun to send thumbs up. He got ready to leave as soon as Lucas was done dressing up.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mark accepted Lucas's feeling and Jaehyun's relationship with Taeyong while Lucas was reliving a stressful moment.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lunch was fun, Mark loved the food and Lucas was joyful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as the food was gone and they left the restaurant for a walk, Mark knew they had to talk. “Can we sit there and talk?” Mark asked as he pointed at a relatively empty playground. Lucas nodded and followed him to a bench. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat down in silence for a moment before Mark spoke again. “I don’t want to worry about us, Lucas, so I want to know what we became now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Lucas frowned in confusion and tried to make sense of what Mark said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark held his hand subtly as he faced him. “I know you have a crush on me, or that you have some sort of feeling for me,” Mark said only for Lucas to go pale and open his mouth to argue. Mark was fast to add, “I don’t mind it but I also don’t know where I stand with you. Am I your roommate? Am I your friend with Benefits? Am I a boyfriend-to-be? Who do you want us to be, Lucas?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does my opinion matter?” Lucas asked him, confused. “If you know my feelings for you then you know I want you as a boyfriend. That doesn’t mean you want that for yourself, Mark.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t but only because I am scared of everything right now,” Mark clarified. “I am only thinking of the worst of it, Lucas. Especially since you suffered traumatic experiences because of me, several times, I am terrified of what would happen to us.” He held Lucas’s hand firmly. “I am also still affected by my past and I’m not going to deny it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I understand.” Lucas found himself shedding tears. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be something you don’t want to be. We can be just roommates.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark chuckled and shook his head. “You don’t.” He dried Lucas’s cheeks and smiled as he said, “I’m not rejecting you, Yukhei.” Lucas’s breath hitched and he turned red as he observed Mark with wide eyes. “I am just scared that whatever you want us to be must remain a secret. I can’t let the world know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? Can’t I even tell my friends?” Lucas asked him in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark frowned. “I don’t know. I’m scared of the idea itself; that whatever between us would be known and used against us somehow. I’m sorry,” Mark admitted and Lucas frowned before sighing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.” Lucas sniffed before sighing deeply. “What I want to know now is… do you want to be my boyfriend?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at him for a moment, debating with himself. He knew he wanted to be something for Lucas, he also knew he wanted Lucas in his life. He wasn’t going to deny it because he trusted Jaehyun and Jaehyun said to tell Lucas the truth. “I don’t know if I want to be your boyfriend but if this is what you want me to be, then yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas shook his head. “No, I want to be what you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> me to be, not the way around. I’m not the one here who knows how the other feels, you are. You know I have feelings for you, you said it, so obviously I want you to be my boyfriend but what do you want?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be your boyfriend but at the same time, I don’t,” Mark admitted. “Since the second we got close, all I got from you was positive. You didn’t hurt me in any shape or form. I even stopped mentally connecting what happened to me to Homosexuality because of you. However, I don’t know what I feel about you. I want to be your boyfriend because you make me feel safe but...” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas smiled. “That’s enough for me, Mark. All I truly want is to protect you, take care of you and make you happy. I’m not asking for anything in return.” He truly looked happy and Mark felt a little at ease. “However,” Lucas said with a frown. “If I’m to compromise and keep quiet on our relationship, I want you to compromise and allow me to take care of you financially.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want us to live out of the dorm, it’s safer, and I want to spoil you,” Lucas explained. “You get to keep your gigs money, save it or send it to your father, but I’ll take care of all your needs, money wise.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas,” Mark was about to argue but Lucas shushed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It will make me feel happy to do that, Mark, and please think of it. It would hurt me not to tell the world you belong to me, can’t you grant me this little wish of mine?” Lucas pouted at him and Mark sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a little wish but if it will make you keep us a secret, I don’t mind. Just don’t overdo it,” Mark warned. “If I feel like you are overdoing it, I’ll break up with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” Lucas panicked at the mere thought. “I promise. I won’t overdo it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas joined Mark for the practice later but he sparkled with so much joy that the band eyed them weirdly. They didn’t push Mark to answer them, even when they had finished their gig, which Mark was glad for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, Lucas’s friends weren’t as subtle. “You look like you won the lottery,” Yangyang commented. “Did you get laid?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Lucas denied even if his ears turned red. “I’m just happy that Mark and I went to have lunch together today and we had so much fun.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The said man just stiffened, noticing how everybody looked at him. “The food was great.” He tried to ignore their eyes but YangYang wasn’t swayed by their words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have sex after lunch? You are both blushing furiously,” he commented. “You sure glow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I assure you we didn’t have sex today,” Mark said, which was true. YangYang frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kun was fast to say. “Considering how down you were this morning, both of you, I doubt it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay! Okay, I’ll admit it,” Lucas said, lifting his hands in surrender before looking at Mark. “I promised to keep it a secret but I’m sorry.” Mark didn’t have time to say anything as Lucas said loud. “Mark and I are moving out of campus! We will live in my apartment as soon as I’m back from HongKong.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Jaehyun looked at Mark who stood there struck. “What’s about your dad?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I sent him enough money to forget about it,” Mark assured. Sixteen thousand dollars was more than half a year worth of dorm rent. “So I’ll be fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Congratulations, bud,” Ten commented. “Now, you can finally feel safe.” Lucas nodded eagerly before he leaned on Kun’s shoulder. Mark was relieved Lucas thought of that to dodge their questions but he couldn’t stop his heart from racing. “As a gift, I’ll handle your interior before your return.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas nodded before handing his credit card to Mark, before looking at Ten, “I’ll let you and Mark handle it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You talk as if you are leaving tomorrow,” Jaehyun commented while Johnny just gave Mark a teasing smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After tomorrow actually, I’ll have to spend my day with the lawyer tomorrow so I won’t have time to discuss things with Mark about the apartment,” Lucas said as he patted on Mark’s back. “I only hope that once I’m back, I will find some money left in my account.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, I promise I won’t let Ten overdo it,” Mark assured him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why I trusted you with my credit card,” Lucas commented teasingly. Mark chuckled at how Ten whined and complained about Lucas not trusting him before he noticed Yangyang’s and Hendery’s eyes on him. He could tell they were doubting them but as long as they had no idea what was happening, he was fine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas and he cuddled that night, a little too drunk to consider anything else, and Mark woke up alone the next morning. Lucas had left less than an hour before, leaving him a note saying that he would spend the entire day with the Lawyer until his case is taken care of so they can talk once he is back from his practice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark sighed at that and considered sleeping until Lunch when his phone rang. Jaehyun sent him a simple message but he nearly died. “Are you dating Lucas now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What made you think of that?” Mark asked him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You told him that you know about his feelings, right?” Mark slapped his forehead hard as he remembered that Johnny and Jaehyun knew about Lucas’s feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to say at first but he didn’t deny it. “We talked and I agreed to indulge him if I’m not going to love him back, hence why we are moving out of the dormitory together and moving in his apartment together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what are you to each other then?” Johnny asked in their group chat, which surprised Mark as Jaehyun sent him a message privately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you together?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Johnny is having brunch with me and Taeyong,” Jaehyun commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanna join!” Mark wrote. “Wait for me before you finish your food! I wanna eat Taeyong’s cooking.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rushed to shower and dress up before dashing to the nearest bus station. He nearly missed the bus, even if it was okay and Jaehyun only lived like an hour away from his dorm, but he rushed in the bus before he could catch his breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only on the bus did he realize he forgot his phone. He cursed his carelessness, considering he won’t be able to call Lucas or text him. It felt like a bad omen for any relationship’s first day. Technically their first day as boyfriends was the day before but he couldn’t stop worrying. Once he was with Jaehyun’s place, he insisted on talking to Ten since none of his friends had Lucas’s phone number. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Mark called worriedly and Ten answered with an equal tone. “Is everything okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Ten admitted. “Kun and Lucas went to see the Lawyer, who insisted on having a private meeting with Lucas alone. Kun told me that Lucas was shaking.”  Mark could tell why and his heart squeezed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you tell Kun Hyung that I don’t have my phone so I can’t answer or contact Lucas for now? I am worried he will think I am abandoning him or something. Please?” Mark said only to hear a hum from the other side. “Ten hyung, Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just worried, don’t mind me. Lucas’s state is worrying us, to be honest,” Ten admitted. “I hope you won’t give up on him soon.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Mark promised, mostly himself. Ten ended the call briefly after and Mark was left there lost and worried. His mind ran miles, twisting whatever Lucas was going through in his mind. He barely could focus on his friends, spacing out, so when Jaehyun touched him, he jerked violently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun lifted his hand, shocked. “Sorry, I…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I was lost in my mind,” Mark assured Jaehyun, softly patting his back. “I am worried about Lucas.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny smirked. “You are sure not dating him, huh?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark dismissed him, sighing. “Ten told me he was shaking because he had to be alone with his lawyer. I have a gut feeling that he was unconsciously reliving a trauma. In the past two days, Lucas barely spoke of it but the little that came out of his mouth proved how traumatized he was to be touched that way.” Mark sighed, ruffling his hair before he picked his chopsticks to eat, while his friends froze for a moment before doing as much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this why you care that he loves you?” Taeyong asked him, serious. “Are you pitying him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark shook his head. “No, I am worried about him.” He sighed deeply before looking at his friends. “He admitted to me that he provoked the man to sexually assault him because of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because of you?” Johnny asked as he held Mark’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark nodded before he looked at Jaehyun. “You didn’t tell Johnny what happened?” Jaehyun blinked before shaking his head and Mark sighed. “Well, when Lucas left me to pick some dinner, his stalker attacked me and tried to have his way with me as a punishment for being with Lucas.” Johnny paled immediately and nearly choked on food. “Lucas pushed him away and started hitting himself and saying a thing to the man who suddenly attacked him and tried to rape him right then and right there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, man…” Johnny held Mark’s shoulder. “That’s fucked up, man. I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark smiled reassuringly. “No, don’t be. I am not as affected by it as I expected myself to be or as I am affected by seeing Lucas struggle to push the man away.” Mark sighed before admitting. “I thought I would lose my mind if I didn’t talk to Lucas the following day. Thinking about him, focusing on him, it all helped me but honestly, I am depending on him emotionally and it is bad..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was about to say that,” Taeyong commented. “You are depending on him to avoid the trauma, but you have to face it somehow. I mean, you need to make time to think of it and to think of what it did to you, then work on that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark sighed, closing his eyes. It was too late for that. Whatever effect Lucas’s traumas did have on him made him date Lucas and he can’t back down. “What should I really do?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go through therapy,” Johnny suggested, “or talk to someone about it. Someone who you can trust your mind with.” Mark shook his head, sighing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have the money for that nor the emotional strength to be alone with someone and tell them what I’ve been through the past ten years,” Mark admitted. Even though Lucas’s help would allow him to have some money, he still couldn’t afford to pay for a therapist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe google methods to empty your mind into so that you can think clearer,” Taeyong suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought of that and decided to make a song for Lucas. I wanted a song in which I can apologize and also promise that I’d be his support,” Mark admitted as he rested his elbows on the table and rested his eyes on the heels of his hands. “I want to stop worrying about everything right now and just… enjoy what I have.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can do that,” Jaehyun reassured. “None of us is forcing you to face your trauma now, we are just worried.” Mark nodded but said nothing. “So, do you still hate homosexual?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Mark said before looking at Jaehyun. “I don’t think I ever hated them. It was just easy to blame them like it is easy for me to blame myself for what happened to Lucas. It was all my sanity could hold on into.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Taeyong asked Mark before looking at Jaehyun. “So you don’t mind to have gay friends?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at the two for a moment before it made sense. “Oh, now I get it,” he said. “That explains why Taeyong’s room is so plain. It’s not his room, isn’t it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We planned to tell you,” Jaehyun said before looking at Johnny. “Both of you. But, we didn’t know how you would react so I pushed the subject as far as possible.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny looked equally shocked as Mark. “You are together? For how long?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since we met,” Jaehyun looked away, holding into Taeyong for support. “It is just…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny stood at that. “You not telling Mark would make sense to me, since he was homophobic but me? Did I ever make you think you couldn’t tell me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I just was scared you weren’t vocal about disliking people like me and that you would stop being friends with me,” Jaehyun explained as he teared up. “You are the only family I have here, Hyung. Please don’t be mad at me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark was shocked but he too was dating a man and made the choice not tell them. “I don’t blame you for being scared and I’m sure Johnny isn’t. Just give him time, he won’t be mad at you anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you aren’t?” Johnny asked Mark, incredulous. “He kept his relationship hidden for more than two years and you aren’t mad?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m not,” Mark deadpanned. “Will you tell us if you had a secret that could break us apart?” Johnny said nothing. “It’s not easy to say things like this, Johnny, and you should be happy Jaehyun considered explaining things to us. If I was him, I wouldn't be able to explain it. I’d just freak out and break up with my boyfriend so I can keep you both.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong held into Jaehyun’s hand, as the man kept his eyes on the standing man. “I need a moment,” Johnny eventually said before he picked his jacket and left the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Taeyong whispered to Jaehyun. “It’s my fault.” Jaehyun dismissed it and forced a smile. Mark could imagine himself with Lucas that way. He was sure Lucas would be extensively sweet to make Mark look at him and forgive him and he smiled at the thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, when did you plan to tell me? When I graduate and leave for Canada?” Mark asked him teasingly. “That would be mean, Jaehyunnie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were homophobic,” Jaehyun pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was,” Mark’s smile didn’t falter. “I am not going to deny that but, will I stop talking to you if I knew? Not really. I may do like Johnny, be distant until I wrap my mind around it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why didn’t you?” Jaehyun asked, frowning. “You are taking this so lightly. You took everything about the LGBTQ people around you very lightly ever since that video was out. I can’t stop thinking that maybe there is something deeper happening between you and that guy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark didn’t deny it. “Yeah, the bullying changed things and made us bond deeper, but I don’t know what I feel for Lucas to define it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He loves you,” Jaehyun added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know but I still don’t know what I feel for him. No matter how open about his feelings he can be, it doesn’t define mine.” Mark picked his cup of juice and drank it slowly to avoid spilling everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I think you love him back.” Jaehyun’s words nearly choked him and he looked at his friend who supported a serious look. “You care way too much for him. You make way too much effort for him. When he got hit in front of you, you nearly lost it. Heck whenever Lucas gets hurt, you lose your shit, Mark. It only means that you love him. I am going to bet you that if he ever asks you to sleep with him, you won’t say no and you will enjoy it even.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark’s heart started beating in his ears and he could feel his hands turn cold. He looked away from Jaehyun thinking of it. He already lost his shit for Lucas and even slept with him, several times, and loved it, so Jaehyun was right. He was perhaps in love with Lucas or held a deep affection for the man. “What should I do if it is true?” he mumbled to himself but Jaehyun’s hand made him jump out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold into it the hardest you can,”  Jaehyun assured him with a smile. “Lucas loves you enough to hold into you and I won’t be shocked if he asks you out on a date.” Mark blushed immediately after and Jaehyun gave him a look, smirking. “He did, did he?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he did but... I didn’t know he had affection for me when I accepted,” Mark admitted, “I tried to make him happy.” Jaehyun nodded reassuringly when his phone rang. Ten’s number clearly on it. Mark looked at Jaehyun before picking the phone. “Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mark?” Lucas’s voice boomed and he sounded drained. Mark didn’t know what to say as he didn’t expect Lucas to be on the phone. “Can you come find me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure, I’ll be there,” Mark said standing. “I won’t have a phone so tell me where it is and let Kun wait for me somewhere.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas sighed. “Kun said he would fetch you, just give him your address. I’ll wait for you here.” and here ended up being a Law firm. Mark felt suddenly small in the middle of the lawyers as Kun led him inside but forgot everything as he noticed Lucas sitting alone in a meeting room. He sprinted to reach the man who nearly cried. “Mark,” he whimpered when Mark held him close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am here. It’s okay,” Mark assured him. “I won’t let you go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas still tightened his hold into Mark, whimpering. “I told him everything,” he said suddenly. “I told the lawyer everything.” Mark nodded, patting his back. “I didn’t know that just talking about it could make me feel so...” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you tell him about us?” Mark asked him eventually. “Did you tell him we are dating?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I promised,” Lucas said, looking at Mark in the eyes. “We stopped at my statement after the assault. I promise I didn’t tell.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe you. I just wanted to know how much your Lawyer knows.” Mark was fast to hold Lucas’s cheeks and observe him. “I trust you, okay? Even if you told him, I would still trust you, okay?” Lucas nodded. They fell into a short-lived silence when the lawyer got in.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Something comes up<br/>a stranger gets in the way<br/>but they still got each other</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I GOT A BETA READER!!! We are working slowly on fixing the fic but don't worry, we will make it better hehe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>If the lawyer noticed how Lucas refused to let go of Mark, the man didn’t react and Mark was thankful for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr Wong, I’ll take it from here so you can leave and rest,” the man said before sitting down. “Mr Lee, however, I’d want you to answer a few things about the defendant.” Mark stiffened but nodded nonetheless. Lucas held into him at that and the lawyer just sighed. “So, Mr Wong told me you were attacked twice before the last attack.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark frowned, thinking. “Oh, the first time he didn’t attack me, at least not physically. He came to me and accused me to be Lucas’s side bitch and I didn’t even know he was homosexual back then. So I got mad at the man and Lucas for a while. Then after a while, he attacked me saying I am persistent.” Mark frowned. “It was like he knew about the video and the bullying Lucas went through and expected me to leave him alone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could he be the one behind the video?” Lucas asked Mark who frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark thought of it. “I mean… I found it odd that someone heard me talking about my roommate being gay and recorded it, so I can’t push that theory away.”  Mark looked at the Lawyer, explaining. “I filed a complaint about the video which is taken down now but the Facebook page said the source is anonymous.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lawyer noted it down before looking back at Mark. “So you didn’t know about Mr Wong’s sexuality until the defendant attacked you, where did it happen? Do you have witnesses?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It happened in a bar after practice, everybody working there can witness,” Mark said as he squeezed the memory out of his brain. “The man was drunk, I’m sure of it, and he spoke to me in Korean unlike with Lucas, he used Chinese.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was Cantonese,” Lucas corrected. Mark smiled at him and squeezed his hand in assurance. The lawyer asked Mark about the second attack and Lucas added, “that day, Mark had a bruise on his cheek, the bartenders and owner can testify if they remember it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s all I need to know…” the lawyer commented. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas stood and held Mark’s hand. “Thank you for your help and Time, Mr Kim. I don’t know how to thank you enough.” The lawyer simply smiled and nodded before Lucas bolted with Mark behind. Once they were in Kun’s car, Lucas insisted on staying in his apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s empty,” Ten commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” he simply said and Kun drove there, dropping both Lucas and Mark. Mark didn’t push Lucas to talk until the man was lying on the cold futon. “Am I a monster?” Mark stiffened at the question. “Is it why I attracted such a monster in my life?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas,” Mark approached the man, curling in front of him. “You are not a monster.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “He didn’t think twice before touching me like that, trying to claim me like I’m some sort of good,” Lucas hissed. “I know I provoked him but even if I was provoked like him, the worst I’d do is throwing a punch not… rape someone in the fucking street.” Lucas’s eyes were distant even if Mark was right in front of his side. “I know I wanted him to do something to me so I can frame him but I can’t stop thinking how his dirty hands touched me, how his lips kissed my skin, how I…” Mark kissed him at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kissed your skin. I touched you, all over you. Don’t think of his touches more than mine,” Mark whispered into his ear. “Think of my touches, think of my kisses, think of me mewling under you, moaning your name, Yukhei.” Mark noticed how Lucas relaxed a little and he pulled the man to hold him. “He taunted you for three years, so I am sure what he did to you felt ten times worse than if a stranger did it to you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Lucas admitted into Mark’s neck. “I hate how affected I am still because of that. Won’t it stop?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but you will find enough strength to bury it in your mind,” Mark assured him. “Some days would be tough but I’d be there to hold you, okay?” It was a huge promise, Mark realized as Lucas nodded, drifting into sleep in his arms. However, when Lucas woke up the following morning with a huge smile, Mark realized he was willing to try and keep that promise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas had to leave for HongKong that night so they went to the dorm, showered, ate some food before cuddling because Lucas wanted nothing else. “I’d miss you so much once I’m there,” he admitted as he picked his bags. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will miss you too so call me as often as you can, okay?” Lucas simply nodded, looking quite unwilling to leave and Mark knew that hence why he kept a smile on until Lucas closed the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark spent the entire break pouring what he felt for Lucas into a song. It wasn’t mentioning the trauma explicitly but Jaehyun and Johnny knew the intimacy described was also referring to how they bonded after the trauma. Mark was grounded by taking care of Lucas and Lucas expressed his love by giving everything he had for Mark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire band knew his song meant that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, when Lucas returned, Mark felt that it wasn’t enough. As soon as Lucas texted him that the house looked much better in real life than in the pictures, Mark cried. “Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas is back and I’m not done with the song. It’s not good enough,” Mark lamented only for Jaehyun to hold his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mark. The song’s purpose is not to fit some standard of perfection but to deliver emotion and trust me, whenever I hear you sing the lyrics, trying to fit the melody to it, I feel pain for you. I feel how sorry you are Lucas is broken, I feel how much you care for him and how much you missed him. Isn’t that what you wanted to deliver?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark wanted to deliver everything he felt for Lucas and it was beyond what Jaehyun said. He didn’t know what he felt for Lucas but it was strong. It was stronger than anything he put on the paper. “I’ll work on it more,” he announced and Jaehyun didn’t push, giving up on stopping Mark from stressing himself over it. The practice ended and Mark asked Jaehyun to drive him home since his new home was in Jaehyun’s way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire ride, Mark felt his heart hammering inside his ribcage and happiness making his mind dizzy. He had missed Lucas incredibly, he couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to, so when he got inside and found Lucas waiting for him with food, he simply threw his shoes off and ran to Lucas. The taller opened his arms as Mark approached him and enveloped him in a tight hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I fucking missed you,” Mark hissed, his voice breaking as his lips shook in a shaken sob. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas’s heart felt warm as he whispered. “I missed you so much, too, Mark.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark buried himself, inhaling Lucas’s scent like it was the first whiff of fresh air he could breathe in ages. He basked in the man’s heat as if his body was frozen cold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s eat,” Lucas said suddenly but Mark didn’t let go. “Mark…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will we cuddle tonight?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will cuddle every night until you are satisfied, Mark. Don’t worry about it,” Lucas said with a smile before leading Mark to the table. “I was surprised you picked a super king bed for us. It almost took the entire space.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told Ten that he could pick whatever bed he wanted for you, but to make it big in case Yangyang and Hendery crashed in,” Mark admitted. “I didn’t want to sound like I wanted it big enough for the both of us to swim on it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas chuckled at that but knew already about the bed. Ten had told him that a good quality bed is better for two men than a normal one. Lucas, however, decided to keep that discussion for himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ate in pure silence, as Mark didn’t care more about anything but holding Lucas close. Lucas just enjoyed the clinginess and kept feeding Mark. They cleaned the table and washed the dishes before Mark pulled Lucas to the bedroom. Lucas froze at the door. “Oh wow,” slipped from his lips as he observed how the plain white room became a mixture of Pink and Blue, in different hues, with golden details in the furniture. The bedsheets mimicked the main wall behind the bed, a geometric mess of Pink and blue, from the lightest to the darkest shades, while the white and gold bed frame added an accent to the colours. There was no closet but a human-size mirror and a cabin on the side and two desks on the other, facing baby blue see-through curtains.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t see this when you came earlier?” Mark asked him, surprised by Lucas’s expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas shook his head, still amazed as he caressed the decors and observed the details. “Ten made me promise not to check my bedroom before you take me there. He said you would prefer it if you showed me the room yourself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark blushed, smiling happily. “I chose the bedsheets,” Mark pointed out. “I told Ten that Blue is my favourite colour when he told me you loved pink, so I suggested we mix the colours and Ten agreed immediately.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas chuckled in joy before picking Mark who chuckled as well. “I love it, Mark. I completely love it,” he said before letting Mark go and frown. “We need, however, to get more sheets like these because one will get messier easily.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, I got us seven,” Mark commented teasingly as he pulled Lucas close, tiptoeing to kiss him on the lips. The kiss overwhelmed them before they could control it. By the time they parted ways to breathe properly, Mark and Lucas looked at each other with clouded lust. They didn’t think twice before undressing and ravishing whatever they could touch. The urge of being physically close clouded Mark’s mind that he whimpered whenever Lucas pulled himself away to take something off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas, however, slowed down at some point, pushing Mark away and just looking at the man. “Do you want to do this?” he asked, his voice uncertain and shaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Mark assured Lucas as he caressed the man’s cheek, observing his expression. “Do you want to do this with me?” Lucas nodded and Mark just pushed himself to the pillows. “The lube and condoms are in the nightstand.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas chuckled, fishing them out and joined Mark who kissed him as soon as he was close. Touching Lucas felt familiar, stretching him felt fulfilling and hearing him moan his name loud and clear filled Lucas with joy that he shed tears as they climaxed. He lied on Mark’s breathless body, sniffing and Mark just let him be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark felt his own tears well in his eyes as he caressed Lucas’s hair. “I don’t know how to explain this without freaking you out, Mark,” Lucas said as he looked up. “I missed this. I missed touching you, kissing you, filling you… I missed being so connected to you.” Mark smiled softly, pushing Lucas’s hair out of his face. “I missed how it made me feel strong, fearless, and most importantly loved.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark would have freaked out on any other day but he couldn’t deny it to himself that he loved making Lucas feel that way. “I’m glad you feel like that with me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas eventually made him a bath, cleaned them up and cuddled Mark as tiredness overcame them. They woke up early the following day, had breakfast before Lucas asked Mark on a date. “I missed spending time with you,” he had said and Mark accepted immediately after. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas took Mark so they could try Mexican food in a restaurant Kun recommended to him, which was a pleasant change of scenery for Mark. “Can you eat spicy food?” Lucas asked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really but maybe I’d try today,” Mark assured him. Lucas still ordered the least spicy ones in the menu, the waiter assured him they were safe, and Mark chuckled. “I guess you can’t eat spicy food too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas smiled and leaned to hold Mark’s hand discreetly.“I have a decent level of tolerance but I don’t want to risk it and ruin a beautiful day with a stomach ache.” Mark’s ears turned red as he pulled his hand away, avoiding Lucas’s eyes. The latter chuckled as he whispered, “Cute.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their date went fine from that, they went to the cinema, held hands the entire time, had a walk before they took a bus to the jazz bar where the band was waiting for Mark. Jaehyun and Johnny were extremely happy to see Lucas that the man’s smile only stretched. They had a gig in another bar so Lucas offered to follow them with Kun and Ten since there is no space for him in the car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas waited for his friends in the bar while Mark followed them with a pout. “You sure seem like you missed each other,” Jaemin commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did, I missed spending time with him,” Mark admitted. The rest snickered but Mark ignored them. They had no idea how strong the loss was, anyway. They reached the bar fast and got settled when a man approached Mark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard your band play originals too,” he said with a smile and Mark nearly dropped his bass at how intensely the man studied him. “I hope to hear something today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will surely deliver some originals,” Johnny answered instead, standing between Mark and the stranger. “I’m Johnny, the leader of the band.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man smiled brightly. “I’m Yuta, Nakamoto Yuta, and I heard a lot of good things about you guys, so I came to watch,” he said before looking at Mark who felt something weird settle in the pit of his stomach at the man’s expression. He was happy to see Lucas get in with Kun, Ten, Yangyang and Hendery because the man’s presence unsettled him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny held his shoulder before they would start playing. “Focus on Lucas,” he simply said and Mark nodded. Hell yes, he would focus on Lucas. Playing while being intensely analysed nearly made him cry but Lucas and his friends were cheering for them, getting louder whenever Jaehyun used a high note. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It kept him sane enough long to run away from the stage and just plop himself next Ten. Lucas noticed, frowning in worry,  but kept his lips sealed as the band joined Mark. The chit-chatting filled their table for a while and Mark felt safe in the middle of his friends when a hand slid on his shoulder and he looked back. If he didn’t have a fast reflex, his lips would have collided with the stranger’s and the man smiled noticing his panicked expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I enjoyed the songs, it was a great performance,” he said to Johnny before looking at Mark. “See you again, Lee Minhyung.” Mark frowned and eyed the man who bowed and left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark noticed Lucas’s pissed expression first but luckily Johnny spoke before he could stutter and make a fool out of himself. “What’s wrong with that dude? He just showed up today and he acted like he knew Mark since forever,” Johnny yelled, mostly so the dude would hear as Yuta stood by a table with other people. “Creepy as fuck.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know him?” Yangyang asked and Mark shook his head, looking at Lucas who seemed on the point of breaking his glass, avoiding to look at Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark looked at Ten for support and the man patted his back. “Don’t worry,” Ten whispered. “He will listen.” Mark sighed, worried but unable to do anything in public. They had a few drinks before Jaehyun drove Johnny, Mark and Lucas home, while Kun and Yangyang drove the rest home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun waited until Johnny was out of the car to look at Mark and Lucas. “Talk it out, okay?” he said to them and much to Mark’s relief, Lucas nodded. Jaehyun drove them home and they got in their apartment before Lucas picked a vase and threw it on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucas!” Mark rushed to pick the luckily intact vase, collecting the pebbles and fake roses. “What did the vase ever do to you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who the fuck was that?” Lucas hissed it. “Why did he call your name like that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark stood, facing Lucas who looked madder. “I don’t know him and I was creeped out by his behaviour too, Lucas. I promise I don’t know who he is,” Mark said softly before holding Lucas’s hand. “Don’t be mad at me when I do nothing, okay? It is not good for a boyfriend to let his anger control him with his boyfriend, you know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucas closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling loud enough to let it echo in the empty house. “I am mad because I couldn’t stop him from touching you, I’m not mad at you perse. Give me a moment.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Relieved and happy Lucas wasn’t mad at him, Mark nodded, massaging Lucas’s palm softly. “Do you want me to heat something? I got some frozen pizza,” Mark offered as he stepped away from Lucas who simply hummed in agreement and walked away. Mark fixed four pizza pieces in the microwave. He set them on the table, with beer and a few more snacks, and sat down waiting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew Lucas would show up once he was calmer so he waited until tiredness overcame him and he slept, sitting there. Lucas was surprised to see Mark snoring and drooling on the table. It made him smile, the little anger in his heart fading as he picked Mark to bed. </span>
</p>
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